Gym Pet Peeve #1

So you know those things that people do at the gym that just drive you CRAZY? Well, seeing how I work in a gym allll day, I’ve got quite a few, which I plan on sharing with you periodically. Here’s the first one on my looong list:

Toothpastefordinner.com always tells the truth. 

The Siderail Treadmill Sprinter: This is most often the person who has never run ever and has decided to start recently, but doesn’t want everyone to know about his beginner status. So he cranks up the treadmill speed to as fast as (usually faster than) he can go, and sprints as hard as he can (clomping noisily as he tries not to slip off the back of the belt) for about 30 seconds. Then he hops off to the sides and hangs out there panting for the next minute and a half while the empty treadmill belt rotates. I usually want to tap these people on the shoulder and ask them if they know that the distance and calories the display reads don’t actually count if they only run a quarter of the time they’re hanging out on the machine. Lucky for everyone, thus far I’ve refrained.

I do want to say something about this as a trainer, though. It’s great to push yourself -- it really is. My job wouldn’t exist if people didn’t want to challenge their bodies. However, you simply cannot force something that isn’t there if you want to get the results you’re looking for. You have to know what you are capable of right now and work with that. If you’re lifting, start with what you can do for 10-15 reps, not 3 (unless you're looking to be a power lifter perhaps?). If you’re doing cardio, do it intensely, but not so intensely that 10 minutes is all you can handle. You won't reap the benefits of exercise if you do it this way.  And you’ll just push so hard that you’ll burn out in… oh, 30 seconds.

Have you seen these sprint-stomp-stop exercisers at your gym?  Are you one of them? (Be honest!) And what are some of YOUR gym pet peeves?

Are Eating Disorders Contagious?

Lately at work, everyone has been sick! We all have colds right now, and it probably doesn’t help that we all hang out with each other for 14 hours at a time on very little sleep at a super germy gym. We’re totally passing it back and forth to one another.

At the same time, a lot of us here are working towards certain fitness goals and training for sports or competitions, especially with summer coming up. Being trainers, we’re all pretty committed to it, but I’m starting to get a little hyperaware of what I’m doing, how much I’m training, and what I’m eating. While I like the discipline I’m getting back, I’m also getting a little nervous about how much I’m starting to think about my training and my diet. Because the guys are constantly talking about their food and calories and how much weight they need to cut and how if they don’t puke they aren’t working out hard enough, I’ve caught myself thinking about these same things. A lot.

The thing is, I really don’t want to. Yes, I want to be healthy and make conscious choices about my food and workouts, but I don’t want it to escalate to obsession. Because I’ve been there before, and I have no desire to let being a certain weight or size completely run my life again. In college, I was so focused on keeping my weight down (at a weight that was far too low for me, in fact), that I planned out every little thing I put in my mouth (planning isn’t bad, but the level to which I did it was ridiculous), and I ended up putting so much stress on my body with exercise that my period stopped.

So I think you can understand why getting anywhere near that territory again scares me. Before, I was influenced by other people too. All of my friends being fixated on their weight and food put in my head that I should be too. I sort of ‘caught’ disordered eating habits from the women around me (and maybe society as a whole, but that’s another post). Here it’s a bunch of guys with “athletic goals,” so no one says they have eating disorders. They admire each others’ commitment, even though sometimes it clearly is disordered behavior.

Before, when I lived with all girls in the dorms and in the sorority house, it was actually a similar situation. We talked about food and calories allll the time, and girls were always giving each other tips or asking questions on how to cut calories and fill up on the smallest amount. The girls that could eat the least seemed to have a whole lot of self control and received praise, but I think we all knew it wasn’t healthy. I happened to be one of those girls for most of college. I ate “super healthy” all the time – which actually meant that I stayed away from sweets, loaded up on veggies to stay full, and ate the least amount of calories possible while running every day. But there was also a backlash from that, with my house mom telling me I looked a little too skinny and someone starting a rumor that I didn't eat dinner at the house some nights because I didn't want people knowing how little I actually ate (for the record, I had to work during the little half hour window they gave us for dinner at the house.)  Anyway, at one point I was living on 700-1000 calories a day (unless I drank, then it was just a little more – that’s what we call “drunkorexia,” folks), running 6-7 miles daily, and lifting a few times a week. I’m shocked I never passed out, honestly. Anyway, I convinced myself that I was just really disciplined, when in fact, I was really obsessed and had major control issues.

I do want to keep up this discipline and renewed commitment to feeling like an athlete again, but I don’t want to drive myself crazy with it as I did in the past. I already caught a cold from the guys I work with, but I’d like to avoid catching anything more serious.

What do you all think? Can you ‘catch’ an eating disorder or disordered eating from someone else? Or do you think some people are actually predisposed to EDs? Do other people influence your food and exercise choices? I really want to know how you feel about this topic, so spill!

Thursday Tip: Love the One You’re With

And by that I mean the one you’re with allll the time – YOU!

Trying to lose weight or tone up or just improve something about yourself in general? Then start liking where – and who – you are now! Instead of talking about how much you need to firm up your less-than-rock-hard abs or how you’ll be happy when you just lose those next five pounds, enjoy the progress you’re making right now. In other words, work with what ya got!

Now I’m not saying, ‘Hey, go ahead and be completely content with everything about yourself and never change,” because change is healthy, and we should all try to evolve in some way within our lifetimes. Honestly, I’d be worried if you had no desire to change anything. What I am saying is that you’re not even going to try to change if you hate everything about yourself. I’ve found that the times when I’ve made the most forward progress with my goals are the times when I’ve accepted – and even embraced – who I was right at that very moment. Use what you like as a base and go from there.

My favorite metaphor for this is so anti-feminist (since most of my readers are women) that I probably shouldn’t say, but whatevs, it works: Think of yourself like a car. (I know. Comparing the female body to a piece of machinery. Right.) If you think of yourself as a total junker that should just be scrapped for spare parts, then, well, you’ll probably treat yourself that way. Feed it junk food, let it sit around without moving it, let it rust, never try to increase its worth in any way. Yeah, that sounds like a fabulous plan for getting yourself where you want to be.

However, if you visualize yourself as a classic cruiser that just needs a few adjustments, then what do you think you’ll do? You'll make those adjustments! Not only that, but you’ll see the potential in yourself from the beginning. So you have a dented bumper or you’re kind of a slow runner.  Why not focus on those great headlights (yeah, I just took away my own feminist card) or the fact that you can outswim everyone you know? Maybe your gas mileage isn’t so great or you want to lose those muffin tops. So focus on the fact that your brakes work perfectly and that you have killer arms.

I’m going to stop with the car references because the above is pretty much the extent of my auto knowledge, but the message here should be obvious by now: Focus on the positive, and the rest will follow. Treat yourself well – even if you aren’t exactly who or what you want to be right now – and your mind and body will respond in turn. You can’t improve yourself until you love yourself.

What do you think? Can you improve yourself if you don’t care about yourself? Do you make the most progress when you find things you really like about you? If you like yourself more, do you treat yourself better so that you can keep advancing your goals? Do you beg to differ with everything I’ve said and think I’m totally full of it? Let me know!

I like to think of myself like this classic '57 T-Bird rather than a hoop-D with bad shocks.

Friday's Quick Tip: Stretching

Clearly, I love Jane Fonda.

As the week comes to close and all of you weekend warriors start planning your lengthier workouts or sports for Saturday and Sunday, consider when you stretch.  Because you DO stretch, right?

I'm going to assume that you do stretch and give you something to work on this weekend.  One of the most important things to remember is to never stretch without warming up first.  Even if you are one of those people who has stretched before working out for her entire life, I'm telling you now: get those muscles warm first!  If you don't, your stretching could actually do more harm than good.  When you pull and push those muscles before getting the blood flowing, you run the risk of majorly injuring yourself.  Think about it this way: Stretching cold muscles is equivalent to yanking on a frozen rubber band.  The elasticity just isn't there, but you're trying to force it.  Personally, I have no desire to feel anything snap.    

So make sure you get moving before you loosen up!  You really can actually hold off on stretching until after the entire workout is done, but if you must stretch at the beginning of your workout, get at least a five-minute warmup in first.  Run, bike, have a dance party -- doesn't matter as long as you move it!  

I personally love stretching! What about you? After you've warmed up, what are YOUR favorite stretches?

January Joiners

I know the tracksuit is dead giveaway, but give the guy some credit!

Around this time of year, a big topic of discussion at the gym is all of the newcomers who flood health clubs everywhere right around January 1. The resolutions kick in when the pants don't fit, so everyone who hasn't been to the gym in a while signs up for a shiny new membership package or dusts off the card that's been sitting in his or her wallet for the past 11 months. I know there are a lot of opinions on these "Resolutionaries," so let's discuss, shall we?

This morning I was training a client in the pool at 6:30am, a time when the gym is normally pretty dead besides the regulars. Well, not today. Even from the pool, I could tell the gym was packed. Very few, if any, cardio machines weren't in use, and the cable machines were taken over by guys in tank tops who just couldn't get enough of themselves in the mirrors. There were even a few more people swimming laps with me after I finished my early swim lesson. All of this new activity at the club got me thinking about how I feel about these January joiners.

In college, I dreaded coming back to my beloved gym after winter break. I just knew that all of the people who had pushed working out to the wayside the previous semester would charge in and take over every piece of equipment because the holidays had done them in. And because Michigan has a ridiculously early spring break, and my peers who had forgotten where the gym actually was would need to elliptical and bicep curl themselves into bathing suit shape by February 25th. Those of us who considered ourselves regulars were, of course, annoyed for this month and a half, because we not only knew where the gym was but -- gasp -- knew there were multiple gyms on campus. We pretty much just waited for the newbies to give up so we could get our precious treadmills and weight machines back.

But today, I was really thinking about it. I got kind of excited that so many people had chosen to get up at 5am to get their butts into the gym. And not just because that means more clients (although, I guess that doesn't hurt). I was happy that so many people wanted to improve their health and follow through with those resolutions. I'm not sure what changed since college (or even since last winter when I was pissed that the lines at my neighborhood gym were even longer), but I kind of feel bad, and more than a little selfish, for wishing my peers in college would just quit on their goals before January even came to a close. And now I'm even finding a bit of inspiration in these wide-eyed first timers. I may be a regular (OK, I work at the gym, so I kind of have to be), but that doesn't mean that I don't have new fitness goals. I want to strength train more, build my swimming endurance back up, and increase my running mileage to where it used to be. If they can brave the gym for the first time in ages, then I can push myself a little harder in the workouts that I'm already doing. Even this morning, when swimming a mile was the last thing I wanted to do, I saw all of those folks sweating it out before work, and I knew I had no excuse. Thanks to them, I stuck it out in the pool, so I'm hoping they stick it out for the year. I hope all of the resolutionaries become regulars.

So which camp are you? Still hating on those newbies? Or do you embrace the fresh faces and encourage them to keep up the good work? I know I'll be in the latter group this year, but tell me what you think!

Just Say No

Ralphie should have just said no.

Ah, the holidays. The most wonderful time of the year, no? Well, in recent years with our winter festivities running on steroids and taking up every waking second, for some the answer to that question might really be a big fat NO. From Thanksgiving to January 1st, there’s plenty of time to go crazy with everything we try to do. I personally love the holidays, but even I can’t help feeling as though I’m being stretched a little thin around this time of year.

I’ve found that the only solution to this problem is something I’m sure you’ve heard over and over again: Learn how to say ‘no.’ Just one word, two little letters, but for some reason, it’s really, really hard for a lot of us – especially women – to say it, even when we truly want to. This idea should be put into practice all year round honestly, but we’ll take baby steps and start with the holidays. So here’s an idea: stop considering every other person on the planet’s feelings and start considering what you actually need to do to keep your sanity this winter.

If you’ve been invited to your eighth cookie-decorating party of the season hosted by your third cousin once removed, and you just totally need to go running instead or you’ll strangle the first kid who reaches across you for the vanilla frosting, then say no. If you’re asked to partake in yet another Secret Santa or Dirty Christmas exchange, and you are totally tapped out and buying even a tiny gift will make you and your wallet scream, just say no. If your coworkers ask you to go out for holiday happy hour (again), and you haven’t even been able to enjoy your Christmas tree or just sit and enjoy a cup of hot cocoa at home yet, then say no. No matter what anyone says, taking time out for you during the holidays is not selfish. It’s essential.

So here’s the challenge: In what’s left of your holiday season (hey, we all have New Year’s coming up), just say no to one thing you actually don’t want to do. Maybe you do want to hit up that cookie party – go ahead and bring your award-winning sugar cookies. But if you feel like you’d rather spend booze calories and bar time on a mug full of chocolate and marshmallows while taking in the A Christmas Story marathon (leg lamps, frozen tongues, and Red Ryder air rifles for 24 hours straight on TBS starting tomorrow!), then tell the office pals you’ll see them on Monday. The world will not stop turning if you miss one holiday gathering this year. I promise. So go, enjoy the holiday season, and report back on how good it felt to say no!

How to Not Get Hit On at the Gym

A little while back, Rachel over at sheddingit.com posted a video about how to catch your gym crush's eye and seal the deal. Well as a personal trainer at the gym, I get hit on enough already, and sometimes would like to minimize that. I hear everything, even when I'm not looking so cute, so sometimes not getting male attention at the gym is just fine with me. Yes, I'll give you a free workout, but not that kind. No, I will not help you stretch, especially when you ask me like that.

SO, here are my (almost) surefire ways to keep the menfolk at bay if you're like me and sometimes just want to be left the hell alone during your workouts.

If you're on the gym floor:

The look: Start by wearing NO makeup. The darker the circles and duller the skin, the better. The hair should definitely be in a ponytail, and if you've gone a few days without washing, it's going to be even more advantageous to you. Next, pick out your rattiest, oldest, baggiest t-shirt. If you have huge b-ball shorts to go along with it, AWESOME. You're in business. Don't let any hint of your shape be seen. The more you look like a walking sack, the less positive attention you'll attract. Oh, and make sure nothing matches. If you want to go the other direction and dress like you're in an 80s jazzercise video, you can play up the crazy, out-of-touch thing. Just make sure you don't look like Jane Fonda circa 1985 in your getup, or you'll probably get hit on even more, especially by the older gentlemen at the gym who long for the days of neon and spandex gone by.

Behavior: First, make sure that iPod/mp3 player/Discman/Walkman (this goes nicely with the 80s aerobics look) is in plain sight. As a trainer who talks to randoms during their workouts all day long, I know it's a lot less intimidating to come up to someone who is sans music. If you don't think your little earbuds will be effective enough, go all out with the big recording studio headphones. You'll look unapproachable and slightly crazy. Perfect. Make sure you rock out to your music as hard as you can, without screwing up your workout, of course. You want to make the point that you are there to actually work out, so don't go overboard with the antics.

If you're lifting, go ahead and grunt a little to get your point across. Do NOT drop the weights though. You can keep people away without pissing them off. If you're doing cardio, do it hard. The easiest people to approach are the ones who are taking it easy on the ellipticals or walking on the treadmills, looking like they're out for a nice Sunday stroll. You shouldn't be doing either of these anyway if you're looking to get an effective workout, but let this serve as a reminder. Ladies, you have to SWEAT. Run or bike hard, and at no point should you smile. Go ahead, look mean. You have my permission.

Bonus Points: Don’t wear deodorant. Yeah. This tip is not for the faint of heart, and I don’t really recommend it, but I’ll give extra credit to whoever tries it as a last resort to get rid of unwanted attention. But again, a last resort. Like, VERY last.

In the pool:

This strategy is WAY easier, since this kind of workout comes with its own inherent buffers. First, you have the water. As soon as you go under, you are excused from communicating with anyone. Only the bold will jump in front of you while you're doing laps in order to start a conversation. And at that point, you have the right to not only look mean, but act mean as well. (I mean, who does that?) However, there are those that just don't get it, so if you're going to swim, again, swim hard. No leisurely laps for you. This way you look like you mean business (which you do, right?). Another built-in advantage to swimming is that almost no one looks cute while doing it. Speedos are not flattering by any means, swim caps make you look bald, and your goggles will inevitably leave red rings around your eyes. Plus, have you seen the faces swimmers make while breathing? Mean muggin' for sure.

So there you have it. Next time you just want to exercise in peace, try one of these tactics, and I can almost* guarantee a flirt-free workout.

*Exceptions do apply, as with the especially oblivious/persistent and those that have seen you looking totally normal and cute at the gym who may or may not be stalking you.

Early to Rise...

So... I'm not sure I've mentioned this, but I am NOT a morning person. The only thing I think when I hear, "The early bird catches the worm," is What's so great about worms? I'll admit that once I get up, I can be really productive, and I'll start feeling a little self-righteous and say, "OK, FINE, it IS nice to be up and getting shiz done before everyone else." But for the most part, when life lets me sleep in a little, I'm pretty appreciative. (and The Great Fitness Experiment post here makes me feel just fine about that.) I'm a night person by nature, and I get really inspired, and my energy goes through the roof at about 8pm. I'll go to work for a 6am client and be dead the whole day, but when nighttime rolls around, my energy spikes back up, especially if you get me talking.

Anyway, this morning I was dragged out of bed at 5am by Beyonce's "Freakum Dress," because I had a 6:30am potential-client workout in the pool. The bus shook me awake a little (there is NO need to drive like that at 5:45, Miss #36 bus driver), but I was still barely trudging along when I got into work. Of course, said client didn't show up, and she was my ONLY client until 1pm, so at first I was a tad annoyed. BUT instead of sitting and pouting in my Speedo or trying to nap in the back room (bad idea when you work with all guys who attack and mess with you when you least expect), I decided to make the best of the situation.

I changed into my running clothes, but because I knew I wouldn't get an amazing long run in (like I said, I peak later in the day), I decided to just crank out a hard 20 minutes to wake me up. I plan on getting a good long swim in later, but MAN, that felt great. I did a quick, sweaty 2.5 miles, cleaned up, and got myself to Starbucks to do some writing -- all before 8:30am. I will admit, as I sit here sipping my coffee, and as everyone else is just starting their day by picking up lattes and venti Americanos to take to work, I am feeling a bit self-righteous. And I'm thinking that maybe every once in a while, I don't mind being the early bird. Even if I really don't like worms.

Bad Reception

So... confession. Lately I haven't been perfectly tuned in to what my body needs or how I'm feeling. I've been so busy and so tired that I've been less than diligent about my health. My workouts have not been completely consistent and my eating hasn't been anywhere near what it should be. I know that keeping up a routine always improves the way I feel, but I've been slipping lately. My food hasn't been completely whole and healthy (packing enough healthy food for a 14-hour day at the gym is hard!), and I'm working on a teeny budget. And I haven't been doing what I need to do to keep my sanity. I haven't been writing and reading as much, so I've felt a little less creative (and a little dumber! I won't lie). Plus, my knees have been killing me for some reason, so the running mileage has decreased and the lower body strength training has been almost null. On a positive note, I have taken up swimming again in lieu of pounding the pavement (or the treadmill), and it's been a really good change of pace.

Anyway, I guess it's time to refresh and find the right station again so I can keep tuning into my health. I need to set a good example as a trainer, and most importantly, I just need to feel good!

The Pro in Procrastination

Yesterday I put off working out for a little bit. Like, until 7pm. And the gym closes at 8.

So what's a girl to do when she needs to cram in a good workout in less than an hour? Crank up the intensity, baby! Which is exactly what I did.

Luckily, I can see the gym from my apartment window, so a) it's super close and b) I no longer have an excuse to skip it. Ever. Anyway, I was in by 7:10 and ready to go. I decided to do circuits with little to no rest in order to make it more difficult. Honestly, because it was so quick, I was worried that I hadn't worked hard enough, but this morning I woke up pretty sore! Mission accomplished. Overall this workout took me about 35 minutes, and I was able to hit every muscle group:

Bis, tris, chest

3x15 bicep curls, standing on Bosu ball (multitasking, work that core!)
3x15 pushups, pushing off of flat side of Bosu (working on stability again!)
3x15 triceps kickbacks

Legs

3x15 leg press machine (love this one because I can lift as much as some guys at the gym, ha!)
3x15 seated leg curls
3x10 (on both legs) lunges

Back (lats) and shoulders (delts)

3x15 bent-over rows
3x10 front raises
3x10 lateral raises

Core

2x25 situps on Bosu (can you tell I love this thing yet?)
2x25 Russian twists, holding dumbbell
(was going to throw a plank or two in there, but I was running out of time!)

After that I finished up with an easy 25-minute run outside (which was supposed to be speed work, but the previously stress-fractured shins were saying, 'not tonight, honey.'), and I was feeling pretty good. Plus I got some practice in for making up full-body workouts on the spot, which totally builds my confidence as a trainer. Anyway, the point is that sometimes we work better under pressure, even in exercise, and can get in just as good of a workout in one hour as we can in two!

Together Again

So listen guys, Running and I may have gotten back together. I know, I know. It was a short break. But I thought about it a lot. And we are going to take things slow this time. Not dive into it like last time and tell ourselves that 6 to 8 miles at a fast clip every single day is good for us.

Running and I have talked about it, and we're going to keep things casual for a while. I think I'm still going to do other activities, and we'll just spend a little time together every week. It will be kind of like when you break up with your boyfriend but miss him terribly because you know you can be so good together, so you decide that you guys will still talk sometimes and just meet up for coffee and maybe dinner, until you have it all figured out. Keep it friendly and without commitment, you know? (I need to stop comparing running to boyfriends and actually start dating, I think, because this is getting ridiculous.)

But instead of coffee (which I miss terribly right now because I am trying to give it up for a whole week!), we are doing short jogs a few times per week. Wednesday I did 20 minutes on the treadmill, and today I did 23. This weekend, if I'm really feeling it, I might take Running out for a spin by the lake. But an easy spin. I'm running when I feel like it and not forcing myself to do it when my shins are screaming or I'm drained after a long day at work. Because I believe that with Running, as with any other good relationship, my heart should actually be in it.

Loving Me For Me

OK, so I was cranky today. And a little yesterday. Alright, fine, and the day before. So let's do a little exercise in positivity, shall we?

Quick -- name two things you love about your physical self (I'm feeling a little shallow today, too) right now. Not when you weigh ten pounds less or when you have a tan or when you have had time to get yourself all gussied up. Right this very instant.

I will start, because...well, I need to stop being so cranky.

A few things I LOVE about myself:

1) My eyebrows. Even when I'm wearing zero makeup, they still give me a little drama and make me look more expressive. I touch them up a little with the tweezers, but other than that I guess I've been given good brow genes. (Thanks, Mom!)
2) My eyes. No matter how much weight I gain or lose, or how much sun I've gotten, they are still a lovely shade of blue that changes depending on what I'm wearing. I've even been told they're 'mesmerizing.' (If you must know, I actually laughed really hard at this, embarrassing the boy who said it. Sometimes I don't handle compliments very well...)
3) Yeah, three, whatever, it's my blog. I really like the part of my ankle that slopes into my feet. It's strong but somewhat delicate at the same time (which is not representative of me at all, but I love it anyway), and I like the way my ankles and legs look in heels. Actually I kind of like my feet too, even though I have been told they're atrocious. Years of dancing, running, and swimming will do that to you I guess. Whatevs, they're lived in and strong, and that makes me like them even more.

OK, so I guess I actually listed four. I cheated.

What do you all love about your bod or your appearance right now? And since I broke the rules, you can too. Name as many things as you like!

A Runner's Low

Dear Running,

I don't know how to say this but... I think we need to take a break. I know what you're thinking, by 'break' I mean that it's over, right? No, no, no, please. Let me reassure you that this is not what I mean at all. Because I love you, I really do. Our history is a long and complicated one, but one with more happiness than sadness, and I am just not willing to give you up.

But we still need to take a break. You say you'll try harder because you want to make this work. I say we've been trying, and I'm getting more and more frustrated. You say you didn't realize how bad the problem was getting. And I say, how could you not? My runs have dwindled to maybe once a week, and I haven't had a good run outside since St. Patrick's Day. The thing is, we both saw this coming, and we were both just waiting for the other to say something. You, dragging my feet when I try to break into a trot. Me, resisting your allure when you call to me on beautiful spring days from the lakefront trail just two blocks from my apartment.

In fact, I have a confession to make. You've been so hard on me and my shins and my ego lately that, well, I've been driven into the arms of another. I know I've always been faithful to you, but I just needed some time away and the elliptical understood me! You know, I really don't like it much, and I don't really know how much it's doing for me, but it doesn't hurt me. Probably won't be too upset when I break things off and dash back to you, either. It's like that cute boy I had a thing with a few summers ago, who I didn't really have any interest in, but who didn't really give me any grief either. The elliptical may just sit there and look pretty and not contribute at ALL while I do my thing and mindlessly burn calories, but it doesn't cause me the pain that you have over the last few months.

And Running, sweetheart, the pain is not just physical. So my hormones went crazy and living through a winter in Chicago made my frame a little heavier. Is that any reason to slow my pace down by the amount that you did? Of course I can still run -- it's not like I'm carrying around an extra person or anything -- but did you have to make me feel like I had never been a runner ever before in my life? Did you have to take my 7:30 pace away from me, and hand me a 9-minute mile on a good day, even through months of work? You make me feel lazy and like there is something wrong with me. I know you don't mean to, but you hurt me psychologically and emotionally. Lately, I've caught you checking out other girls (and even guys!), and you've been sending signals that tell me you don't think I'm a 'runner' anymore.

So, again, we need to take a break. Like I said, I love you, but I think some time apart would do us both some good. You go wild on the bike path next to Lakeshore drive. Have a ball down by North Avenue Beach. And I will enjoy the company of my trusty ten speed (once the tires are blown back up) and of the pool and the weights at the gym. We'll go out and see other people (activities?), and we will eventually realize how much we miss one another. I'll still wear your shoes and think of you fondly, and you'll make someone else pick up their pace when a really great/horrible pop song comes on. You'll miss my dedication to you, and I'll miss how badass I feel after finishing a ten miler and how hot my legs look in a dress. Don't roll your eyes at me, you know my vanity is endearing.

Keep in touch, with all my heart, xoxo, etc, etc,

Heather