Link Love and In Response to Anonymous #2

I am so so sorry I've neglected the blog, but this week has been crazy!  This was the last week of the month, meaning I was working 13 to 15 hour days and didn't even have time to breathe, let alone blog.  Anyway, for now, I want to leave you with a few awesome links that really hit home with me this week.  If you aren't already following these bloggers, I suggest you check them out!

First up, Gena from Choosing Raw wrote an amazing essay on embracing our appetites... for everything.  As a feminist and a woman, I can totally relate to this.  For a major chunk of my life, I was so focused on being the 'good girl' or the 'skinny girl' that I ignored everything and anything I was craving.  This essay really brings to light the fact that many of us do this all the time.  

Next, my good friend Rachel from Shedding It & Getting It wrote a few awesome posts related to the same idea.  Her first one about going with her cravings and deciding not to justify to herself or anyone else what she wanted was so inspiring that I just had to smile.  She also wrote one a few days ago about "Your Unruly Appetite" that was inspired by Gena's post.  My favorite line? "Sometimes a girl needs to eat. And get laid. It’s biology, people — not a big f****** deal." (Man, my parents are going to love that one...Hi, Mom!).

Another blogger, Kristin from Cook, Bake, and Nibble, talked about her experiences with disordered eating and denying herself as well.  Since it was NEDAwareness week, she talked about her struggles with body image and food.  I love the honesty of all of these ladies this week!

And one last thing before I go, I really wanted to address a comment left on my last post 'Are Eating Disorders Contagious?'  The second anonymous comment had this to say: "It sounds like you have an eating disorder and have had it since college. That's what therapy is for. I don't know if you can begin to get healthy until you face your demons and not project them on to your surroundings. I hope you take the steps to get help." While I appreciate the honesty, and I think everyone has a right to state his or her opinion, I did want to discuss this one.  First of all, when I state my opinion in this way, I at least own up to it.  I wish "Anonymous #2" had done the same. 

However, I would like to say to this commenter (and everyone else reading) that I have never denied having an eating disorder in college.  I had major control issues, and what I was doing was not healthy.  And I did get help.  Therapy got me my sanity back, and I give a ton of credit to the counselor who got me through so much at UMich.  And now, for the first time in a long time, I'm not counting calories and I'm not freaking out over every minute of cardio I miss or about every morsel of food that goes into my mouth.  The point of this post was to say that I am finally sane, but I know I still need to be careful because recovery doesn't happen overnight.  I am not blaming anyone at work for any residual issues I have, just stating that I need to watch myself in that kind of environment so that I can take preventative measures to keep myself from going back to that darker place.  In the same way that someone might load up on vitamin C to keep from catching a cold that's going around, I am forcing myself to notice what everyone is doing so that I don't lose what I've fought so hard to get back -- my health and my sanity.  I'm not saying I don't still have a ways to go, but please belive that I am healthier and I am not 'projecting my demons' onto the amazing people with whom I work.     

To everyone else who left comments, thank you!  Your support and the fact that you read means the world to me!  And you know what, thank you to Anon #2 as well, because it's important to address these things, and you gave me the opportunity to do so.

Hope everyone is having a fab weekend!  What you think of the links posted?  How do you feel about cravings and trying to control our appetites?  And for all of you bloggers or writers out there, how do you address the less-than-positive comments?  Do you address them at all?         

Happy Valentine's Day!

Soooo let’s talk about good old, February 14th, shall we? Some years I’ve hated it, others I’ve loved it, and somewhat more recently, I’ve just pretended it wasn’t happening. But this year, I think Valentine’s Day and I will be able to peacefully coexist. It’s not like I’m dating anyone, and my mom is most definitely still my Valentine, so I don’t know what has changed, but I just don’t loathe it the way I have in years past. Maybe I really, truly, finally am understanding the whole “you’ve got to love yourself before anyone else can” thing. And for real, I’m starting to love who I am and the decisions I’m making. I’m pretty comfortable in my own skin, and I’m not looking for approval (at least as much as I used to) from every single person in my life. I’m treating myself better, I’m more confident in making goals and plans for achieving them, and I’m really happy with the people I’m surrounding myself with. Maybe I don’t have a boyfriend or a Valentine per se, I do have a whole lot of people in my life that I love to death.

So let’s make today all about loving everyone around us, and most importantly, ourselves! Name something you love about you and show the people in your life how much you care about them. As for me, I love that I am able to embrace awkwardness in life and that I’ve learned how to be direct when I communicate with people when dealing with whatever issues may arise. I also love how strong I am getting physically and how confident I am becoming in my abilities. Physically, I like my eyes and the fact that this white girl has little bit of a booty. As for the people in my life that I adore so much, I love that they support me and help me believe that I can do anything, even when my faith in myself wavers. And I love that they are all unique and bring so many amazing things to the table. My family, my roommates, my friends, my coworkers – a post on all of their fabulous traits would take allll day.

What are you doing for Vday? Do you have a special someone to celebrate with? Or are you celebrating a lot of special someones in your life, including you? And continuing with the self-love theme, include something you love about YOU in your comment!

Thursday Tip: Love the One You’re With

And by that I mean the one you’re with allll the time – YOU!

Trying to lose weight or tone up or just improve something about yourself in general? Then start liking where – and who – you are now! Instead of talking about how much you need to firm up your less-than-rock-hard abs or how you’ll be happy when you just lose those next five pounds, enjoy the progress you’re making right now. In other words, work with what ya got!

Now I’m not saying, ‘Hey, go ahead and be completely content with everything about yourself and never change,” because change is healthy, and we should all try to evolve in some way within our lifetimes. Honestly, I’d be worried if you had no desire to change anything. What I am saying is that you’re not even going to try to change if you hate everything about yourself. I’ve found that the times when I’ve made the most forward progress with my goals are the times when I’ve accepted – and even embraced – who I was right at that very moment. Use what you like as a base and go from there.

My favorite metaphor for this is so anti-feminist (since most of my readers are women) that I probably shouldn’t say, but whatevs, it works: Think of yourself like a car. (I know. Comparing the female body to a piece of machinery. Right.) If you think of yourself as a total junker that should just be scrapped for spare parts, then, well, you’ll probably treat yourself that way. Feed it junk food, let it sit around without moving it, let it rust, never try to increase its worth in any way. Yeah, that sounds like a fabulous plan for getting yourself where you want to be.

However, if you visualize yourself as a classic cruiser that just needs a few adjustments, then what do you think you’ll do? You'll make those adjustments! Not only that, but you’ll see the potential in yourself from the beginning. So you have a dented bumper or you’re kind of a slow runner.  Why not focus on those great headlights (yeah, I just took away my own feminist card) or the fact that you can outswim everyone you know? Maybe your gas mileage isn’t so great or you want to lose those muffin tops. So focus on the fact that your brakes work perfectly and that you have killer arms.

I’m going to stop with the car references because the above is pretty much the extent of my auto knowledge, but the message here should be obvious by now: Focus on the positive, and the rest will follow. Treat yourself well – even if you aren’t exactly who or what you want to be right now – and your mind and body will respond in turn. You can’t improve yourself until you love yourself.

What do you think? Can you improve yourself if you don’t care about yourself? Do you make the most progress when you find things you really like about you? If you like yourself more, do you treat yourself better so that you can keep advancing your goals? Do you beg to differ with everything I’ve said and think I’m totally full of it? Let me know!

I like to think of myself like this classic '57 T-Bird rather than a hoop-D with bad shocks.

Thursday Thoughts

Can I just take a quick second to mention how much this cover pisses me off? First of all, I am a huge Jen Aniston fan, and I feel like she has been painted as this lonely, crazy, desperate woman ever since she and Brad Pitt split. And even though People is apparently trying to make her look good with this article, it only feeds into this whole Brad, Angelina, Jen triangle gossip. And it makes Jen look pathetic, plain and simple.


And just a few things about the cover’s tag line: “Five Years After Brad”

a) Why are we commemorating this? Was Brad a natural disaster? A national tragedy? Any important moment in history at all? Not in my book. Yes, they were Hollywood’s ‘It’ couple, and no, I really do not like Angelina, but really? It was a divorce caused by an affair. It happens. It’s sad, of course, but it does happen. To regular people every single day. I realize they’re in the spotlight, but come ON. It’s time to get over it. In fact, it was time to get over it about four years ago.

b) Why isn’t it, “Five Years After Jen?” Because Brad seems to have it all together with his family? Because he left her? So what? Her career has been doing pretty well, and it’s not like she’s been sitting at home every day and night. She’s shown out and about with different people all the time, so I think she might be doing OK. Having that one person in her life doesn’t make her unfulfilled, and I really wish the media would stop suggesting that. Also, have you SEEN Brad Pitt lately? He’s looking slightly homeless, and apparently “sources close to” him are saying that his odor is getting slightly offensive. Soo, I think she’s got it together enough to shower at the very least.

c) I love how tabloids (whatevs, People, you are SO a tabloid) make it seem like every time a woman steps out looking better than before that it’s a breakup revenge. What if she just wants to feel good about herself? There’s a novel idea.

I realize that had nothing to do with health or fitness or any sort of tuning into your body, but it just had to be said. And you know what? Maybe she looks so fabulous these days because she stopped being so concerned with listening to all the static from other people, and just started turning the dial to Jen FM. How about we put THAT on the cover?

Resolution Check-in!

Hey all! I know I said I didn’t make New Year’s resolutions, but I did make some year-long objectives which I’m working on via monthly goals. So I thought I’d let everyone know how those goals are going, and you can let me know how your resolutions or monthly goals are coming along too! (Here’s a refresher on my January goals.)

1) Get more sleep: Hmmm… so the goal was to get seven hours at least five nights per week. That hasn’t exactly been happening. However, I’ve been getting better about it! Weekends I’m obviously still getting plenty, and six hours during the week has been a lot more common than the five I was looking at before. I could still improve here, but I must say that I’ve been a lot less tired, my skin has looked better, and I’m pushing a lot harder in workouts. I’m going to start getting myself on a more consistent sleep cycle (especially since I’m getting a LOT more morning clients, so these seven hours are going to be key!)

2) Sit somewhere different on the bus: I wanted to do this so I could change my point of view in more than just a figurative way. This one has actually been harder than any of the others, which seems so silly to me. I don’t know why, but I’m practically drawn to the back of the bus! Maybe it’s because I was never a cool enough kid to sit there in grade school, so I have to live out that dream as a 24-year-old woman. Whatever. Still working on it!

3) Strength train twice per week: Yes! I’ve got this one! I’ve been working out almost everyday with my fitness director at the gym, so that makes it a little easier to get motivated to do it. When the lunch rush dies down and 2pm rolls around, I hear, “You have five minutes to get changed. Let’s go.” Which may sound kind of bossy (well, I guess he is my boss), but I totally need that push sometimes. It’s not like I don’t have a choice, but I kind of feel like I’m back in high school and I’m getting ready for practice, so I really like that. Plus, I’m following his workout plan, so it’s tough! I’m starting to feel like a real athlete again, and it’s making me a bit more ambitious. Like, ‘maybe I should sign up for the Chicago Triathlon’ ambitious.

4) Write and post at least once per week: Mission accomplished! I’ve been taking every opportunity and free moment to write, and I have this renewed passion that I am loving. Expect to see some big changes happening on the blog soon!

Overall, I’d say two (and a half…ish) out of four ain’t bad! Did you make goals for this month or for the year as a whole? How are they going? If not, are you thinking about making some? Let me know!

Male or Female Trainers – Who Would You Rather Have Train YOU?

Have I ever made anyone cry like Marshall did on "How I Met Your Mother?" Not yet :-)

This is a question I have to ask a lot of potential clients. Every new member at our gym gets a free personal training session, and when setting up these appointments, I often ask, “Do you prefer a male or female trainer?” Now, a lot of people will say they don’t care either because they really don’t or because they’re afraid of offending me with their answer. But I often wonder, who do people really want training them? And what’s the reasoning?

Personally, I have only had male trainers. You would think feminist me would be all about having a female trainer, but I just wasn’t. Mostly because guys were the ones who approached me, but also because that’s what I asked for when it came time to actually buy training. It’s not that I don’t think a female trainer could kick my ass, because I know from my own training that this simply isn’t true. In fact, I’ve nearly made guys puke during my workouts before (so there!). But honestly, I think my choice stemmed from my own insecurities. The female trainers at the gym by my apartment all seemed so girly and just teeny. Thanks to being a sorostitute for three years, I was worried that they would all be sizing me up while we trained, as women often do with one another (catty bitches, right?). So I went with guy trainers because I didn’t care about being sweaty and gross in front of them. They can judge me all they want, but they can’t really compare my body to their own, so I don’t really care.

Other women feel the total opposite. My friend Kate said that she wanted a female trainer at first because of her insecurities. When she started with a male trainer, she said she always tried to “get dressed” to go to the gym, but then she learned it was more about the sweat and the hard work, and stopped caring what she looked like while she was working toward her goal. And I’ve talked to a lot of women who feel this way. They don’t mind dripping and panting in front of other women, but working out with a male trainer makes them nervous. I’ve also heard that women like working out with other women because they can relate. Duh, I didn’t even think of this one, even though most of my female clients talk to me about their lives every single day. I get it that stress does a number on you and your goals. I get it that we can’t drop five pounds as easily as the guys. I get it that sometimes you need a little chocolate and that there are certain days when you will be crankier than others. I get it.

With guys, the situation can be a little different. Boys are gross to begin with (if there are any male readers, feel free to defend yourselves in the comments section), so I doubt they worry too much about sweating a lot during their workouts. However, some men are a little iffy about sweating that much in front of cute girls who are telling them what to do. I’ve even heard from one or two male gym members that they’re worried that if a woman trainer is touching them (for instructional purposes, obvi) and ordering them around like a drill sergeant that they’ll “get turned on.” (I had no idea how to react to that comment.) Anyway, some guys choose male trainers because those are simply things they don’t want to fret over.

The issue of competence is something else entirely. I think, at times, both men and women think that female trainers won’t be as tough or can’t possibly know what they’re doing. I’m going to be biased for a second and tell you that, we do, in fact, know our stuff. We had to get certified just like the guy trainers, and we do just as much strength training as they do. Just because we can’t lift as much as some guys, this does not mean that we can’t put you through the workout of your life. [Girl Power rant over.] Some guys will say they want a guy because they don’t think a girl will be able to help them bulk up. Other male clients will say they wouldn’t mind a female trainer because they don’t mind if someone a little prettier watches them sweat, and they feel like they might even work a little hard to impress their trainers.

In the end, there’s no general answer across the board. I guess it all depends on personal preferences, and it might not even be gender-based, but actually just whether or not your personalities mesh.

What do YOU think? Would you rather hire a female or male trainer? Why? Does it matter to you, or you just need to make sure you have a trainer with whom you get along and who motivates you the right way? Spill!

So I realized I never really went into how I turned my entire career upside down and went into personal training. I don't even really know if I mentioned I was going to do it (might have mentioned it here). I just stopped posting and then I came back and was like, "Blah, blah, quit my job, yadda yadda, and at the gym... ." So here's the story...

I had been working with a trainer at my gym downtown, and I kept complaining about how tired I always was and how much I hated my job (my soul felt it was being sucked out by the industrial strength vacuums my company sold). Slowly that turned into me asking my trainer about his certifications and how everyone at the gym had gotten into training. Finally, he just said, "Why don't you just get certified?" and it just all became so clear. He suggested that I go through ISSA, which turned out to be genius, because it's accredited by the US Department of Education, meaning that my nice office job would pay for it since it counted as continuing education!

Anyway, I planned to get certified, save up a little more money, and then transition into the new job. Well, only problem was that I hated my job SO much that it was affecting the rest of my life. I was so apathetic that I had no motivation to do anything. Except study, that is. Because I knew that the sooner I could get certified, the sooner I could get OUT of a job I knew in my heart was all wrong for me. So I studied nonstop for two months -- on the train, after work, all weekend long. I was just finishing the program when I decided that the day had come to put in my two-weeks notice. So I did, and on my last day of work, I found out I had passed my exam and had become a certified personal trainer. Whew.

Then I took a month off to just enjoy a Chicago summer. I read, I wrote, I tanned (yeah, yeah, I KNOW), I slept. I loved it, but I was ready to get back to work because I was getting restless (my Dad has told me before that he always thought I had ADHD), and, oh right, I was running out of moo-lah. So I decided I needed to start applying to gyms, but I already knew where I wanted to work. I interviewed at a few places, but I had always intended to work at the gym where I had originally trained as a client. I walked in and asked for the fitness director, and as soon as he saw me, he said, "Well, look who it is!" He had me fill out and application and set up a practical interview on the spot. I knew I was going to like this job!

Fast forward to two months later, and I'm slowly building up a client base and loving this job so much more than anything I've ever done. The days are long, and right now the pay is crappy, but I have so much more energy, and I'm so much more positive than I've been in quite some time. It was a change to go from working in a sedate office environment with mostly females to a loud gym with almost all dudes who say plenty of things that the feminist in me says I should be reporting to HR. (Kidding. Sort of.) But I really love everything about it. Work doesn't always feel like work, and exercising and talking to people are part of my job description. And I adore my coworkers, because in this job, it's not weird to be friends with the people you see most of the day. OH, and did I mention I get to wear sweats and spandex and running shoes all day? Plus, believe it or not, I actually feel like I'm using my degree more than I did before. I've always wanted to use my English and Women's Studies majors to do something with women's health/fitness, focusing especially on body image. This job is like the perfect case study for that! And I get to help people get healthy and feel better about themselves. And liking my job this much has motivated me even more to work on the other half of my dream -- writing. So, as I mentioned before, everything in my life might not be perfect right now, but I feel like I'm finally on the right track.

Big or small, what's something you've changed in your life lately?

First Day of Work!

Hi! Can't make this a long one because I need to get to bed, but today was my first day working at the gym, and I loved it! It's going to be hard work, and it's SO different from what I'm used to (goodbyeeeee, corporate America), but once I get the hang of it, I know it'll be what I was searching for.

Anyway, quick tip from today: If you have a job that requires you to be on your feet allll day, work that core! Strengthening your back and abs will make standing for 10 hours at a time totally bearable. Which is something I need to do myself, since stretching my back when I got home at 9pm tonight almost made me cry.

The Pro in Procrastination

Yesterday I put off working out for a little bit. Like, until 7pm. And the gym closes at 8.

So what's a girl to do when she needs to cram in a good workout in less than an hour? Crank up the intensity, baby! Which is exactly what I did.

Luckily, I can see the gym from my apartment window, so a) it's super close and b) I no longer have an excuse to skip it. Ever. Anyway, I was in by 7:10 and ready to go. I decided to do circuits with little to no rest in order to make it more difficult. Honestly, because it was so quick, I was worried that I hadn't worked hard enough, but this morning I woke up pretty sore! Mission accomplished. Overall this workout took me about 35 minutes, and I was able to hit every muscle group:

Bis, tris, chest

3x15 bicep curls, standing on Bosu ball (multitasking, work that core!)
3x15 pushups, pushing off of flat side of Bosu (working on stability again!)
3x15 triceps kickbacks

Legs

3x15 leg press machine (love this one because I can lift as much as some guys at the gym, ha!)
3x15 seated leg curls
3x10 (on both legs) lunges

Back (lats) and shoulders (delts)

3x15 bent-over rows
3x10 front raises
3x10 lateral raises

Core

2x25 situps on Bosu (can you tell I love this thing yet?)
2x25 Russian twists, holding dumbbell
(was going to throw a plank or two in there, but I was running out of time!)

After that I finished up with an easy 25-minute run outside (which was supposed to be speed work, but the previously stress-fractured shins were saying, 'not tonight, honey.'), and I was feeling pretty good. Plus I got some practice in for making up full-body workouts on the spot, which totally builds my confidence as a trainer. Anyway, the point is that sometimes we work better under pressure, even in exercise, and can get in just as good of a workout in one hour as we can in two!

Lots of New Things

Hi! Another long hiatus, I know. Anyway, a LOT has happened since then!

1) I moved! We got a nice new apartment two blocks away from our old one (long hike, right?), and we actually moved a few loads using shopping carts because we're a little ghetto like that. Oh, and because we don't have cars. But anyway, it has huge windows, high ceilings, and best of all, we're on the third floor instead of the garden level (read:basement). It's a three bedroom, so we got a third roommate, one of my friends from grade school and UMich. She's a personal trainer, yoga/pilates instructor, and life coach. She's got so much energy and runs her own business, and I love it! Seriously inspiring.

2) I got a job as a personal trainer! Yesterday, I made it official by going down and signing all the paperwork! I've been ISSA certified for about two months now, but after I quit the corporate gig in July, I kind of just putzed around to figure out what I was going to do with my life. I finally went downtown to the gym I've worked out at, and said, 'hey, looking for trainers?' Lucky for me, they were! And lucky for me, I know half the trainers there so it shouldn't be toooo hard to transition. Either way though, this is going to be a totally different experience for me! And I am so excited!

3) I started a Twitter account (that's what you call it, right?). As soon as I told my friend Rach I had gotten the job, she gave me the assignment of starting one up. So I did! I am still super wary of it, because I don't know if I need everyone knowing my business (oh wait, I have a blog...but this is still fairly anonymous. At least it was until I link it to a Twitter feed). But for business purposes, maybe it's something I'll have to get over? For those of you that have it, what do you think of it?

OK, I'm off to get some coffee and cheer on our boys in maize and blue....HAIL!!

Loving Me For Me

OK, so I was cranky today. And a little yesterday. Alright, fine, and the day before. So let's do a little exercise in positivity, shall we?

Quick -- name two things you love about your physical self (I'm feeling a little shallow today, too) right now. Not when you weigh ten pounds less or when you have a tan or when you have had time to get yourself all gussied up. Right this very instant.

I will start, because...well, I need to stop being so cranky.

A few things I LOVE about myself:

1) My eyebrows. Even when I'm wearing zero makeup, they still give me a little drama and make me look more expressive. I touch them up a little with the tweezers, but other than that I guess I've been given good brow genes. (Thanks, Mom!)
2) My eyes. No matter how much weight I gain or lose, or how much sun I've gotten, they are still a lovely shade of blue that changes depending on what I'm wearing. I've even been told they're 'mesmerizing.' (If you must know, I actually laughed really hard at this, embarrassing the boy who said it. Sometimes I don't handle compliments very well...)
3) Yeah, three, whatever, it's my blog. I really like the part of my ankle that slopes into my feet. It's strong but somewhat delicate at the same time (which is not representative of me at all, but I love it anyway), and I like the way my ankles and legs look in heels. Actually I kind of like my feet too, even though I have been told they're atrocious. Years of dancing, running, and swimming will do that to you I guess. Whatevs, they're lived in and strong, and that makes me like them even more.

OK, so I guess I actually listed four. I cheated.

What do you all love about your bod or your appearance right now? And since I broke the rules, you can too. Name as many things as you like!