How to Not Get Hit On at the Gym

A little while back, Rachel over at sheddingit.com posted a video about how to catch your gym crush's eye and seal the deal. Well as a personal trainer at the gym, I get hit on enough already, and sometimes would like to minimize that. I hear everything, even when I'm not looking so cute, so sometimes not getting male attention at the gym is just fine with me. Yes, I'll give you a free workout, but not that kind. No, I will not help you stretch, especially when you ask me like that.

SO, here are my (almost) surefire ways to keep the menfolk at bay if you're like me and sometimes just want to be left the hell alone during your workouts.

If you're on the gym floor:

The look: Start by wearing NO makeup. The darker the circles and duller the skin, the better. The hair should definitely be in a ponytail, and if you've gone a few days without washing, it's going to be even more advantageous to you. Next, pick out your rattiest, oldest, baggiest t-shirt. If you have huge b-ball shorts to go along with it, AWESOME. You're in business. Don't let any hint of your shape be seen. The more you look like a walking sack, the less positive attention you'll attract. Oh, and make sure nothing matches. If you want to go the other direction and dress like you're in an 80s jazzercise video, you can play up the crazy, out-of-touch thing. Just make sure you don't look like Jane Fonda circa 1985 in your getup, or you'll probably get hit on even more, especially by the older gentlemen at the gym who long for the days of neon and spandex gone by.

Behavior: First, make sure that iPod/mp3 player/Discman/Walkman (this goes nicely with the 80s aerobics look) is in plain sight. As a trainer who talks to randoms during their workouts all day long, I know it's a lot less intimidating to come up to someone who is sans music. If you don't think your little earbuds will be effective enough, go all out with the big recording studio headphones. You'll look unapproachable and slightly crazy. Perfect. Make sure you rock out to your music as hard as you can, without screwing up your workout, of course. You want to make the point that you are there to actually work out, so don't go overboard with the antics.

If you're lifting, go ahead and grunt a little to get your point across. Do NOT drop the weights though. You can keep people away without pissing them off. If you're doing cardio, do it hard. The easiest people to approach are the ones who are taking it easy on the ellipticals or walking on the treadmills, looking like they're out for a nice Sunday stroll. You shouldn't be doing either of these anyway if you're looking to get an effective workout, but let this serve as a reminder. Ladies, you have to SWEAT. Run or bike hard, and at no point should you smile. Go ahead, look mean. You have my permission.

Bonus Points: Don’t wear deodorant. Yeah. This tip is not for the faint of heart, and I don’t really recommend it, but I’ll give extra credit to whoever tries it as a last resort to get rid of unwanted attention. But again, a last resort. Like, VERY last.

In the pool:

This strategy is WAY easier, since this kind of workout comes with its own inherent buffers. First, you have the water. As soon as you go under, you are excused from communicating with anyone. Only the bold will jump in front of you while you're doing laps in order to start a conversation. And at that point, you have the right to not only look mean, but act mean as well. (I mean, who does that?) However, there are those that just don't get it, so if you're going to swim, again, swim hard. No leisurely laps for you. This way you look like you mean business (which you do, right?). Another built-in advantage to swimming is that almost no one looks cute while doing it. Speedos are not flattering by any means, swim caps make you look bald, and your goggles will inevitably leave red rings around your eyes. Plus, have you seen the faces swimmers make while breathing? Mean muggin' for sure.

So there you have it. Next time you just want to exercise in peace, try one of these tactics, and I can almost* guarantee a flirt-free workout.

*Exceptions do apply, as with the especially oblivious/persistent and those that have seen you looking totally normal and cute at the gym who may or may not be stalking you.