Body FM: Tuning In

Moving!

2010-03-14T16:55:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone! Just wanted to let you know that I am joining the masses and switching over to Wordpress! I love Blogger because it's ridiculously easy to use, but I need to make the blog a little fancier so it was time! Visit me over at: http://bodyfm.wordpress.com/ and let me know what you think!

See you soon!

Gym Pet Peeve #1

2010-03-10T09:54:00.000-08:00

So you know those things that people do at the gym that just drive you CRAZY? Well, seeing how I work in a gym allll day, I’ve got quite a few, which I plan on sharing with you periodically. Here’s the first one on my looong list:

Toothpastefordinner.com always tells the truth.

The Siderail Treadmill Sprinter: This is most often the person who has never run ever and has decided to start recently, but doesn’t want everyone to know about his beginner status. So he cranks up the treadmill speed to as fast as (usually faster than) he can go, and sprints as hard as he can (clomping noisily as he tries not to slip off the back of the belt) for about 30 seconds. Then he hops off to the sides and hangs out there panting for the next minute and a half while the empty treadmill belt rotates. I usually want to tap these people on the shoulder and ask them if they know that the distance and calories the display reads don’t actually count if they only run a quarter of the time they’re hanging out on the machine. Lucky for everyone, thus far I’ve refrained.

I do want to say something about this as a trainer, though. It’s great to push yourself -- it really is. My job wouldn’t exist if people didn’t want to challenge their bodies. However, you simply cannot force something that isn’t there if you want to get the results you’re looking for. You have to know what you are capable of right now and work with that. If you’re lifting, start with what you can do for 10-15 reps, not 3 (unless you're looking to be a power lifter perhaps?). If you’re doing cardio, do it intensely, but not so intensely that 10 minutes is all you can handle. You won't reap the benefits of exercise if you do it this way. And you’ll just push so hard that you’ll burn out in… oh, 30 seconds.

Have you seen these sprint-stomp-stop exercisers at your gym? Are you one of them? (Be honest!) And what are some of YOUR gym pet peeves?

Sounds Like a Plan

2010-03-08T10:27:00.000-08:00

Hey all, quick Monday post here. Last week I talked about wanting to ramp up my workouts and renew my commitment to getting in fighting shape. Well, this week I decided to try something new to accomplish that goal: I planned out my entire week, Monday through Friday, including when I was going to work out, write, train, and eat. I also made a more detailed plan for my grocery shopping, and I cooked more food ahead of time so that I'd be prepared for when I got home at 9pm STARVING and ready to chew my own arm off. I've always been a planner and list maker, but this just took it to another level. I mean, I even scheduled in showers. Later on this week I'll report back on how I did with following the plan, and how it made me feel!

What kind of person are you? A super planner? A fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants person? When do you feel like you get more accomplished?

My First Guest Post and March Goals

2010-03-02T09:53:00.000-08:00

Hey guys! So although I’ve been a slacka over here, I have been doing SOME writing! Check out Chandra’s Shenanigans for a guest post from yours truly (first one!) on how I made the transition from working at a desk to spending my days in the gym. I know I kind of already wrote about it here, but it was fitting to write about it over there because she did the same thing! Granted, she was a little smarter about it, transitioning slowly, and not just saying ‘Eff you, corporate desk job’ and quitting completely, but still.

Anyway, another thing I almost completely forgot about is making March goals! Luckily Rachel over at Shedding It reminded me. (Forgetting three months into the year…good job, Heather.) I honestly don’t know how I did on February’s goals, because the month was crazy, but I’m going to try to make some more for March and actually pay attention to them. So here we go!

1) Get more sleep: Seriously, guys, this one is a huge problem. Why is it that I cannot get a handle on it? I need suggestions in a big way! HELP! SOS! Seriously, give me some tips, because I haven’t been able to figure this one out. Shooting for seven hours of sleep for only 3 nights this month. Baby steps? I don’t know…help!

2) Start journaling my food again: I’ve been pretty good about knowing what I’ve eaten during the day, but I could buckle down a little bit more. I’ve got some big goals –athletic and otherwise – so I need to make sure I’m in tip top shape, and I think this will really help.

3) Put money aside every week: With this job, I won’t lie, I have had to panic at the end of the month more than once when it comes to my finances. So, I need to commit to putting at least $20 (maybe $50…still deciding) away at the end of every week. I used to do this all the time, and it was great because I was starting this little nest egg, and because I put it away immediately when I got paid, I never even noticed that I didn’t have it. I need to save up for some big stuff (namely a new laptop to replace this dinosaur and a bike for the Tri), so this should help.

4) Recommit to my workouts and ramp them up: I did an awesome job of cranking up the intensity of my workouts in February, and it showed, but at the end of the month, I fell off a little. Even though it was only skipping one or two workouts, I still felt it. So for March, I want to renew my commitment and even add in a cardio session or two to my week. I want to get stronger, faster, leaner, and all-around more athletic.

What are your goals for this month? Did you already forget about them like I did? (Oops!) Tell me what you want to accomplish this month!

Link Love and In Response to Anonymous #2

2010-02-28T13:20:00.000-08:00

I am so so sorry I've neglected the blog, but this week has been crazy! This was the last week of the month, meaning I was working 13 to 15 hour days and didn't even have time to breathe, let alone blog. Anyway, for now, I want to leave you with a few awesome links that really hit home with me this week. If you aren't already following these bloggers, I suggest you check them out!

First up, Gena from Choosing Raw wrote an amazing essay on embracing our appetites... for everything. As a feminist and a woman, I can totally relate to this. For a major chunk of my life, I was so focused on being the 'good girl' or the 'skinny girl' that I ignored everything and anything I was craving. This essay really brings to light the fact that many of us do this all the time.

Next, my good friend Rachel from Shedding It & Getting It wrote a few awesome posts related to the same idea. Her first one about going with her cravings and deciding not to justify to herself or anyone else what she wanted was so inspiring that I just had to smile. She also wrote one a few days ago about "Your Unruly Appetite" that was inspired by Gena's post. My favorite line? "Sometimes a girl needs to eat. And get laid. It’s biology, people — not a big f****** deal." (Man, my parents are going to love that one...Hi, Mom!).

Another blogger, Kristin from Cook, Bake, and Nibble, talked about her experiences with disordered eating and denying herself as well. Since it was NEDAwareness week, she talked about her struggles with body image and food. I love the honesty of all of these ladies this week!

And one last thing before I go, I really wanted to address a comment left on my last post 'Are Eating Disorders Contagious?' The second anonymous comment had this to say: "It sounds like you have an eating disorder and have had it since college. That's what therapy is for. I don't know if you can begin to get healthy until you face your demons and not project them on to your surroundings. I hope you take the steps to get help." While I appreciate the honesty, and I think everyone has a right to state his or her opinion, I did want to discuss this one. First of all, when I state my opinion in this way, I at least own up to it. I wish "Anonymous #2" had done the same.

However, I would like to say to this commenter (and everyone else reading) that I have never denied having an eating disorder in college. I had major control issues, and what I was doing was not healthy. And I did get help. Therapy got me my sanity back, and I give a ton of credit to the counselor who got me through so much at UMich. And now, for the first time in a long time, I'm not counting calories and I'm not freaking out over every minute of cardio I miss or about every morsel of food that goes into my mouth. The point of this post was to say that I am finally sane, but I know I still need to be careful because recovery doesn't happen overnight. I am not blaming anyone at work for any residual issues I have, just stating that I need to watch myself in that kind of environment so that I can take preventative measures to keep myself from going back to that darker place. In the same way that someone might load up on vitamin C to keep from catching a cold that's going around, I am forcing myself to notice what everyone is doing so that I don't lose what I've fought so hard to get back -- my health and my sanity. I'm not saying I don't still have a ways to go, but please belive that I am healthier and I am not 'projecting my demons' onto the amazing people with whom I work.

To everyone else who left comments, thank you! Your support and the fact that you read means the world to me! And you know what, thank you to Anon #2 as well, because it's important to address these things, and you gave me the opportunity to do so.

Hope everyone is having a fab weekend! What you think of the links posted? How do you feel about cravings and trying to control our appetites? And for all of you bloggers or writers out there, how do you address the less-than-positive comments? Do you address them at all?

Are Eating Disorders Contagious?

2010-02-19T09:19:00.000-08:00

Lately at work, everyone has been sick! We all have colds right now, and it probably doesn’t help that we all hang out with each other for 14 hours at a time on very little sleep at a super germy gym. We’re totally passing it back and forth to one another.

At the same time, a lot of us here are working towards certain fitness goals and training for sports or competitions, especially with summer coming up. Being trainers, we’re all pretty committed to it, but I’m starting to get a little hyperaware of what I’m doing, how much I’m training, and what I’m eating. While I like the discipline I’m getting back, I’m also getting a little nervous about how much I’m starting to think about my training and my diet. Because the guys are constantly talking about their food and calories and how much weight they need to cut and how if they don’t puke they aren’t working out hard enough, I’ve caught myself thinking about these same things. A lot.

The thing is, I really don’t want to. Yes, I want to be healthy and make conscious choices about my food and workouts, but I don’t want it to escalate to obsession. Because I’ve been there before, and I have no desire to let being a certain weight or size completely run my life again. In college, I was so focused on keeping my weight down (at a weight that was far too low for me, in fact), that I planned out every little thing I put in my mouth (planning isn’t bad, but the level to which I did it was ridiculous), and I ended up putting so much stress on my body with exercise that my period stopped.

So I think you can understand why getting anywhere near that territory again scares me. Before, I was influenced by other people too. All of my friends being fixated on their weight and food put in my head that I should be too. I sort of ‘caught’ disordered eating habits from the women around me (and maybe society as a whole, but that’s another post). Here it’s a bunch of guys with “athletic goals,” so no one says they have eating disorders. They admire each others’ commitment, even though sometimes it clearly is disordered behavior.

Before, when I lived with all girls in the dorms and in the sorority house, it was actually a similar situation. We talked about food and calories allll the time, and girls were always giving each other tips or asking questions on how to cut calories and fill up on the smallest amount. The girls that could eat the least seemed to have a whole lot of self control and received praise, but I think we all knew it wasn’t healthy. I happened to be one of those girls for most of college. I ate “super healthy” all the time – which actually meant that I stayed away from sweets, loaded up on veggies to stay full, and ate the least amount of calories possible while running every day. But there was also a backlash from that, with my house mom telling me I looked a little too skinny and someone starting a rumor that I didn't eat dinner at the house some nights because I didn't want people knowing how little I actually ate (for the record, I had to work during the little half hour window they gave us for dinner at the house.) Anyway, at one point I was living on 700-1000 calories a day (unless I drank, then it was just a little more – that’s what we call “drunkorexia,” folks), running 6-7 miles daily, and lifting a few times a week. I’m shocked I never passed out, honestly. Anyway, I convinced myself that I was just really disciplined, when in fact, I was really obsessed and had major control issues.

I do want to keep up this discipline and renewed commitment to feeling like an athlete again, but I don’t want to drive myself crazy with it as I did in the past. I already caught a cold from the guys I work with, but I’d like to avoid catching anything more serious.

What do you all think? Can you ‘catch’ an eating disorder or disordered eating from someone else? Or do you think some people are actually predisposed to EDs? Do other people influence your food and exercise choices? I really want to know how you feel about this topic, so spill!

Trying New Things: Yoplait Greek Yogurt

2010-02-18T07:55:00.000-08:00

The other day, I was picking up some essentials at the grocery store when I spotted a new Greek yogurt made by Yoplait. I’m not going to lie, I got super excited when I saw this, especially because it’s almost a dollar cheaper than my beloved Fage! I am addicted to that stuff, but it can put a dent in your wallet, especially when you forget to go grocery shopping and have to shop at the little market by your house that charges an arm and a leg for everything. I was a tiny bit skeptical of Yoplait’s version, but decided to give it a try. Here are the details: It claims it has 2x the protein of leading yogurt (true), and it has 100 calories, 14 grams of protein, and 0 grams of fat. Not bad!

I opened it yesterday morning after my two early appointments, looking for a dose of protein. And, honestly…all I can say is, “UGH!” But I will admit that I ate it anyway because I didn’t have anything else, and I’m cheap like that. I also thought, HEY, I never try new stuff so this could be an awesome post! A review! I’m such a hip blogger now! (I sound like my mom. Apparently, I’m not up the lingo these days.)

Anyway, I got the plain version because I actually really like plain yogurt – Greek or regular – but this was just not good. It tasted like plain yogurt does when you accidentally let it sit out for an hour and it’s almost room temperature. Except I had just taken this out of the fridge and it was still chilled. Bleh. It actually tasted like it had gone bad or something, so I even checked the expiration date to make sure. Nope, March 20, 2010. It was just that gross. It was weird in a tangy way that was off even for plain yogurt. So if you don’t like plain in the first place, this might make you vom a little. The texture wasn’t terrible, but there was something weirdly chalky about the coating it left behind along with the aftertaste. Yoplait, your claim that it has a ‘unique, thick and creamy texture’ is only accurate on the ‘unique’ part.

So maybe I’m spoiled, and I like the good stuff, but I’m still telling you not to waste your money on this. It might be cheaper, but that’s because it’s kind of disgusting. As with most things in life, friends, you get what you pay for. I am willing to give other Greek yogurts a try, but my heart still belongs to Fage 2%, even if it is the most expensive. I’ll even do Chobani or Trader Joe’s brand if they’re available. But Yoplait… never again…

Have you tried any fun (or gross) new foods lately? What did you think? Any recommendations for me?

Happy Valentine's Day!

2010-02-14T16:11:00.000-08:00

Soooo let’s talk about good old, February 14th, shall we? Some years I’ve hated it, others I’ve loved it, and somewhat more recently, I’ve just pretended it wasn’t happening. But this year, I think Valentine’s Day and I will be able to peacefully coexist. It’s not like I’m dating anyone, and my mom is most definitely still my Valentine, so I don’t know what has changed, but I just don’t loathe it the way I have in years past. Maybe I really, truly, finally am understanding the whole “you’ve got to love yourself before anyone else can” thing. And for real, I’m starting to love who I am and the decisions I’m making. I’m pretty comfortable in my own skin, and I’m not looking for approval (at least as much as I used to) from every single person in my life. I’m treating myself better, I’m more confident in making goals and plans for achieving them, and I’m really happy with the people I’m surrounding myself with. Maybe I don’t have a boyfriend or a Valentine per se, I do have a whole lot of people in my life that I love to death.

So let’s make today all about loving everyone around us, and most importantly, ourselves! Name something you love about you and show the people in your life how much you care about them. As for me, I love that I am able to embrace awkwardness in life and that I’ve learned how to be direct when I communicate with people when dealing with whatever issues may arise. I also love how strong I am getting physically and how confident I am becoming in my abilities. Physically, I like my eyes and the fact that this white girl has little bit of a booty. As for the people in my life that I adore so much, I love that they support me and help me believe that I can do anything, even when my faith in myself wavers. And I love that they are all unique and bring so many amazing things to the table. My family, my roommates, my friends, my coworkers – a post on all of their fabulous traits would take allll day.

What are you doing for Vday? Do you have a special someone to celebrate with? Or are you celebrating a lot of special someones in your life, including you? And continuing with the self-love theme, include something you love about YOU in your comment!

100-Calorie Scams

2010-02-06T15:55:00.000-08:00

Even toothpastefordinner.com knows: Just because it's low-cal doesn't mean it's good for you!

I recently saw an ad featuring Venus and Serena Williams for Nabisco’s 100-Calorie Packs on Glamour.com. Now, I truly love Glamour for its mainly positive message to women, and I think the Williams sisters are pretty badass for their complete domination of tennis, but I have a major problem with the magazine and the sisters promoting a nutritionally void snack that uses “Diet Like a Diva” as its slogan.

First of all, Glamour has been running all sorts of articles about what eating disorders will do to your body and how eating wholesome foods is the way to go when it comes to losing weight or just staying healthy. They’ve also got the Body by Glamour plan, which, again, promotes eating healthy foods with redeeming nutritional qualities. It’s not supposed to be a ‘diet,’ but a plan with plenty of smart takeaways that will help you make permanent lifestyle changes. So it’s understandable that I take issue with the mag for pimping packaged products with the lowest amount of calories possible, right?

Additionally, the fact that the Williams sisters are the faces of this campaign really irks me. I honestly do not think that these athletes are munching on 100-calorie packs all day to keep themselves in shape. To compete like they do, I’m pretty sure they’re eating a wholesome diet full of lean protein, whole grains, and lots of produce. Sure, maybe they’ve tested the products they’re pretending to eat in the ads, but really? Do you believe that the million-time Wimbledon champs are refueling with Wheat Thins substitutes?

To be honest, I’m rarely one of those “everything in moderation” people (still working on it), and in my calorie-obsessed college days I will admit that I totally fell for this idea, but I simply can’t justify it anymore. I do understand that everyone needs a treat sometimes, but why not promote the idea that we can indulge just a little bit every now and then with something a little closer to the real thing? Personally, a little baggie of imitation cocoa-flavored wafers does not nix my chocolate craving. But you know what does? Actual chocolate (the darker the better in my case). And if I have a small enough piece, it’s going to be about 100 calories (give or take) as well, so why would I waste calories and money on little baggies (not so eco-friendly either there, Nabisco) of satisfaction-free chemically-laden ‘food’?

Anyway, I want to know what YOU have to say about this. Have you seen these ads? What do you think of them? How do you feel about Venus and Serena as well as Glamour promoting the products? What do you think of the 100-cal marketing scheme in general?

Thursday Tip: Love the One You’re With

2010-02-04T09:05:00.000-08:00

And by that I mean the one you’re with allll the time – YOU!

Trying to lose weight or tone up or just improve something about yourself in general? Then start liking where – and who – you are now! Instead of talking about how much you need to firm up your less-than-rock-hard abs or how you’ll be happy when you just lose those next five pounds, enjoy the progress you’re making right now. In other words, work with what ya got!

Now I’m not saying, ‘Hey, go ahead and be completely content with everything about yourself and never change,” because change is healthy, and we should all try to evolve in some way within our lifetimes. Honestly, I’d be worried if you had no desire to change anything. What I am saying is that you’re not even going to try to change if you hate everything about yourself. I’ve found that the times when I’ve made the most forward progress with my goals are the times when I’ve accepted – and even embraced – who I was right at that very moment. Use what you like as a base and go from there.

My favorite metaphor for this is so anti-feminist (since most of my readers are women) that I probably shouldn’t say, but whatevs, it works: Think of yourself like a car. (I know. Comparing the female body to a piece of machinery. Right.) If you think of yourself as a total junker that should just be scrapped for spare parts, then, well, you’ll probably treat yourself that way. Feed it junk food, let it sit around without moving it, let it rust, never try to increase its worth in any way. Yeah, that sounds like a fabulous plan for getting yourself where you want to be.

However, if you visualize yourself as a classic cruiser that just needs a few adjustments, then what do you think you’ll do? You'll make those adjustments! Not only that, but you’ll see the potential in yourself from the beginning. So you have a dented bumper or you’re kind of a slow runner. Why not focus on those great headlights (yeah, I just took away my own feminist card) or the fact that you can outswim everyone you know? Maybe your gas mileage isn’t so great or you want to lose those muffin tops. So focus on the fact that your brakes work perfectly and that you have killer arms.

I’m going to stop with the car references because the above is pretty much the extent of my auto knowledge, but the message here should be obvious by now: Focus on the positive, and the rest will follow. Treat yourself well – even if you aren’t exactly who or what you want to be right now – and your mind and body will respond in turn. You can’t improve yourself until you love yourself.

What do you think? Can you improve yourself if you don’t care about yourself? Do you make the most progress when you find things you really like about you? If you like yourself more, do you treat yourself better so that you can keep advancing your goals? Do you beg to differ with everything I’ve said and think I’m totally full of it? Let me know!

I like to think of myself like this classic '57 T-Bird rather than a hoop-D with bad shocks.

New Month, New Goals: February

2010-02-01T07:59:00.000-08:00

New month, new goals! As I mentioned last month, I decided not to make any New Year’s resolutions, but I did take a page from my friend Rachel’s book and came up with goals for January alone. I want to carry this on throughout the year to see what I can accomplish when I break my big goals down into smaller, more doable steps.

So here are my new goals for February to help me make 2010 my healthiest, happiest year yet!

Get more sleep: OK, repeat goal. While this one wasn’t a complete and utter fail last month, I did not get my seven hours at least five nights per week. I got close with six many nights, but still. I didn’t accomplish what I wanted to. So this month, I’m going to make sleep even more of a priority. But I’m going to lower the bar a teeny bit. I’m going to aim for seven hours at least four nights a week this month. (Give me your tips for getting to bed earlier! I’ll take all the help I can get!)
Incorporate new types of cardio into my routine: Since I started thinking about doing the Chicago Triathlon, I’ve been considering how I can take my workouts up a notch. The other day I made a fun cardio circuit for myself that involved a lot of spinning with some stair and lap running mixed in there . And I have to say, I kind of loved it! So I want to take at least two spinning classes this month, since I’ve tried it before but never really given it a chance. If I want to prep for the Tri (goal for March is to actually SIGN UP), I need to start now – but indoors because there is no way in HELL I’m biking along the lake with a -10 windchill.
Focus on the positive: I’ve always considered myself a pretty upbeat person, but I have also always had a problem with getting into my own head too much and overanalyzing everything (no, really, everything), and then dwelling on the negatives of a given experience. So this month, at least a three times a week, I want to write down the positive things that happen to me during the day. I was going through old texts today, and I came across some I had saved because they were from the really uplifting people in my life. My parents telling me how proud they are of me, an inspiring friend reminding me that I’m capable of anything, my boss encouraging me and letting me know I’m doing “one hell of a job.” I saved those for a reason – because I wanted to remind myself to focus on the positive – so I need to do that everyday!
Read more than just the back three pages of the Red Eye newspaper: Because scanning the celebrity gossip and doing the crossword puzzle isn’t really helping me become a more well-rounded person.

What about you? Got any new goals for this month? How did your January goals go? And if you did make New Year's resolutions, are you still going strong? I want to know!

Pay Attention! (To Your Body, That Is)

2010-01-30T11:38:00.000-08:00

Not entirely relevant, but toothpastefordinner.com kills me every time.

So I’ve had a few requests to address emotional eating, but it’s a pretty big (and sometimes loaded) topic, so I want to give it a little more thought before I talk about it. In the meantime, here’s a tip to help you work on eating mindfully.

I recently received an email from first30days.com (really cool site, btw!) with a genius way to make you a little more conscious about your food choices. It seems so obvious, but they way they put it just made the light bulb go off above my head. Instead of thinking of how good something is going to taste or feel right now, think about how you’ll feel and how it will affect you in three hours. When they put it like that, all I could think was, ‘Um, duh.’ A huge meal always makes me feel comatose after 3 hours. And too much sugar never fails to give me a headache and make me nauseous long after the taste is gone.

When I read the email I realized I had been doing just that lately. For a while there I was not tuning in so well to my body and was rushing around grabbing whatever – and some of it wasn’t the most nutritious stuff out there. It wasn’t really messing with my weight or anything, but it certainly didn’t make me feel good. So lately I’ve been thinking about how the things I’m putting into my body will affect my entire body – not only three hours from now, but three days, and even three months from now. Will a heavier meal later at night mess with my sleep or leave me waking up uncomfortable the next morning? If I’m starving when I get home after a 14-hour workday, should I grab whatever or actually take a breath and plate a balanced meal with lots of veggies? Will whole foods most likely satisfy me more and give me more energy in the long run than processed bars and shakes?

Stopping to think for a minute about how I’ll react to what I’m eating has really boosted my energy and my mood – this week especially. I’ve felt more productive, getting up early hasn’t been as much of a struggle, and I’ve had six (yeah, SIX!) pretty kickass workouts this week alone! Even waking up at 7am this morning (I don’t DO early Saturdays) was pretty easy! And I definitely won’t complain about feeling better in my clothes.

I want to know what YOU think of this idea. Are you generally good at eating mindfully? Do you have to work at it? Have you been working on it? How does it make you feel when you make conscious choices regarding your food? And for all of you pros out there, got any tips for those making an effort to eat mindfully?

Thursday Thoughts

2010-01-28T07:39:00.000-08:00

Can I just take a quick second to mention how much this cover pisses me off? First of all, I am a huge Jen Aniston fan, and I feel like she has been painted as this lonely, crazy, desperate woman ever since she and Brad Pitt split. And even though People is apparently trying to make her look good with this article, it only feeds into this whole Brad, Angelina, Jen triangle gossip. And it makes Jen look pathetic, plain and simple.

And just a few things about the cover’s tag line: “Five Years After Brad”

a) Why are we commemorating this? Was Brad a natural disaster? A national tragedy? Any important moment in history at all? Not in my book. Yes, they were Hollywood’s ‘It’ couple, and no, I really do not like Angelina, but really? It was a divorce caused by an affair. It happens. It’s sad, of course, but it does happen. To regular people every single day. I realize they’re in the spotlight, but come ON. It’s time to get over it. In fact, it was time to get over it about four years ago.

b) Why isn’t it, “Five Years After Jen?” Because Brad seems to have it all together with his family? Because he left her? So what? Her career has been doing pretty well, and it’s not like she’s been sitting at home every day and night. She’s shown out and about with different people all the time, so I think she might be doing OK. Having that one person in her life doesn’t make her unfulfilled, and I really wish the media would stop suggesting that. Also, have you SEEN Brad Pitt lately? He’s looking slightly homeless, and apparently “sources close to” him are saying that his odor is getting slightly offensive. Soo, I think she’s got it together enough to shower at the very least.

c) I love how tabloids (whatevs, People, you are SO a tabloid) make it seem like every time a woman steps out looking better than before that it’s a breakup revenge. What if she just wants to feel good about herself? There’s a novel idea.

I realize that had nothing to do with health or fitness or any sort of tuning into your body, but it just had to be said. And you know what? Maybe she looks so fabulous these days because she stopped being so concerned with listening to all the static from other people, and just started turning the dial to Jen FM. How about we put THAT on the cover?

Shape-Up Tips for Trainers

2010-01-24T15:25:00.000-08:00

Everyone assumes that because trainers are working at a gym everyday, we have alllll the time in the world to work out. Well sometimes this just isn’t true. Some days, you have clients throughout the day, spaced out at short intervals, giving you only half hour gaps in which to fit in your own workout. And those tiny gaps need to include a workout AND a shower, because even though we wear workout clothes all day, we still do need to look presentable (and, ahem, clean) because it IS a job. Or some days, you have to decide between working out or grabbing lunch or else you won’t get to eat for another five hours. Or some days you have a one or two-hour break, and after three 14-hour days you need to get out of the gym to get some fresh air or you will ~~snap at the next person who asks you where the locker rooms are~~ be very stressed out. Not that I would know anything about that.

Anyway, most of the time, I do get a quality workout in every day since it’s pretty convenient, but the fact of the matter is that sometimes it just doesn’t happen. So what’s a trainer to do when she needs get in her own exercise, but doesn’t have time in between giving clients their workouts?

The solution is surprisingly simple and kind of obvious (so much so, that I often forget about it): Work out with your clients! At least at my gym, there are no rules saying you can’t do this, and a lot of us have taken advantage of it. You might not do the WHOLE workout with them if you don’t want to get super sweaty (see above; no one likes a stinky trainer), but doing certain strength moves with them or running a few laps shouldn’t hurt. Plus, most clients find this pretty motivating because they see you actually doing the work too. They assume we work out, but seeing us in action tends to help people push a little harder. Plus, if you’re doing it too, people feel kind of wimpy giving up or saying ‘I can’t.’ (At least I know I do when I work out with other trainers!)

For example, many times I’ve run laps with my clients to help them keep up or increase their pace, and I’ve done plenty of squats with them to ensure proper form as well. Yesterday I only had time to run before one of my sessions, so I had to skip my core workout. So at the end of her hour, together we did 10 minutes of the ab exercises I had originally planned for myself. Not only did it make her workout a little more challenging, but it also pushed her to keep up with someone else, namely her trainer. The last move was a plank, and she held it up for an entire minute – a first for her! I was super proud of her, she was happy with herself, and I’d gotten in the rest of my routine as well. It was a winning situation all around!

See how happy we are to be working out together? See?! SEE!?!

So what do you think? Trainers, have you ever worked out with your clients? Clients, have your trainers ever worked out with you? Did it push you harder or make a difference? Tell me, I want to know!

Friday's Quick Tip: Stretching

2010-01-22T09:46:00.000-08:00

Clearly, I love Jane Fonda.

As the week comes to close and all of you weekend warriors start planning your lengthier workouts or sports for Saturday and Sunday, consider when you stretch. Because you DO stretch, right?

I'm going to assume that you do stretch and give you something to work on this weekend. One of the most important things to remember is to never stretch without warming up first. Even if you are one of those people who has stretched before working out for her entire life, I'm telling you now: get those muscles warm first! If you don't, your stretching could actually do more harm than good. When you pull and push those muscles before getting the blood flowing, you run the risk of majorly injuring yourself. Think about it this way: Stretching cold muscles is equivalent to yanking on a frozen rubber band. The elasticity just isn't there, but you're trying to force it. Personally, I have no desire to feel anything snap.

So make sure you get moving before you loosen up! You really can actually hold off on stretching until after the entire workout is done, but if you must stretch at the beginning of your workout, get at least a five-minute warmup in first. Run, bike, have a dance party -- doesn't matter as long as you move it!

I personally love stretching! What about you? After you've warmed up, what are YOUR favorite stretches?

Tunes for Tuesday: Hip-Swinging Soul

2010-01-18T20:51:00.000-08:00

An icon.

You know those days when you just cannot muster up the motivation to get to the gym, but you know how good you'd feel if you just got moving? Sometimes, instead of a regular cardio workout, you just need to shake it. In these instances, I call on my favorites to help me let down my hair, shake off my uptight white girl persona, and really bust a move in the privacy of my own living room. Here are my go-to tunes that allow me to really get into a groove. Some fast, some slow, some R&B, some soul, some newer, and most old, but they alllll make you want to swing those hips:

“The House That Jack Built” -Aretha Franklin

“Dancing In The Street” -Martha and the Vandellas

“Here I Am (Come and Take Me)” -Al Green

"Super Duper Love (Are You Diggin' On Me?) Pt 1 -Joss Stone

“Son of a Preacher Man” –Dusty Springfield

“Rock Steady” -Aretha Franklin

"Let's Get Lifted" -John Legend

“Let’s Stay Together” -Al Green

“Ain’t No Sunshine (When She's Gone)” -Bill Withers

"Every Ghetto Every City" -Lauryn Hill

"Proud Mary" -Tina & Ike Turner

"Can't Get Enough of Your Love" -Barry White

“Do You Feel Me” -Anthony Hamilton

"Do Right Woman, Do Right Man" -Aretha Franklin

“Uptight (Everything’s Alright)” -Stevie Wonder

-"Let's Get It On" -Marvin Gaye (oh c'mon, you KNEW this was going to be on here)

“I Can’t Get Next To You” -Al Green (clearly have a thing for Mr. Green)

This playlist should give you plenty of time to really get into your groove, and maybe even work up a sweat if you do choose to forgo the gym (once in a while, this is OK)! These are just some of my favorites, but what are yours? Which songs really get YOU going?

(Check out this AWESOME live version of Marvin Gaye's "Let's Get It On" to get you inspired!)

Resolution Check-in!

2010-01-15T07:51:00.000-08:00

Hey all! I know I said I didn’t make New Year’s resolutions, but I did make some year-long objectives which I’m working on via monthly goals. So I thought I’d let everyone know how those goals are going, and you can let me know how your resolutions or monthly goals are coming along too! (Here’s a refresher on my January goals.)

1) Get more sleep: Hmmm… so the goal was to get seven hours at least five nights per week. That hasn’t exactly been happening. However, I’ve been getting better about it! Weekends I’m obviously still getting plenty, and six hours during the week has been a lot more common than the five I was looking at before. I could still improve here, but I must say that I’ve been a lot less tired, my skin has looked better, and I’m pushing a lot harder in workouts. I’m going to start getting myself on a more consistent sleep cycle (especially since I’m getting a LOT more morning clients, so these seven hours are going to be key!)

2) Sit somewhere different on the bus: I wanted to do this so I could change my point of view in more than just a figurative way. This one has actually been harder than any of the others, which seems so silly to me. I don’t know why, but I’m practically drawn to the back of the bus! Maybe it’s because I was never a cool enough kid to sit there in grade school, so I have to live out that dream as a 24-year-old woman. Whatever. Still working on it!

3) Strength train twice per week: Yes! I’ve got this one! I’ve been working out almost everyday with my fitness director at the gym, so that makes it a little easier to get motivated to do it. When the lunch rush dies down and 2pm rolls around, I hear, “You have five minutes to get changed. Let’s go.” Which may sound kind of bossy (well, I guess he is my boss), but I totally need that push sometimes. It’s not like I don’t have a choice, but I kind of feel like I’m back in high school and I’m getting ready for practice, so I really like that. Plus, I’m following his workout plan, so it’s tough! I’m starting to feel like a real athlete again, and it’s making me a bit more ambitious. Like, ‘maybe I should sign up for the Chicago Triathlon’ ambitious.

4) Write and post at least once per week: Mission accomplished! I’ve been taking every opportunity and free moment to write, and I have this renewed passion that I am loving. Expect to see some big changes happening on the blog soon!

Overall, I’d say two (and a half…ish) out of four ain’t bad! Did you make goals for this month or for the year as a whole? How are they going? If not, are you thinking about making some? Let me know!

Fresh Ideas

2010-01-13T07:29:00.000-08:00

Hey all! I know this totally doesn't count as a post, but I wanted to pop in and say hi! Also, I've been getting a lot of feedback from readers and friends, and I wanted to ask if you guys had anything you really wanted to see on here! Your comments and ideas are so important to me, and I want to hear more! SO let me know what you really want to hear about, and I'll try to make it happen! Leave your comments below!

Male or Female Trainers – Who Would You Rather Have Train YOU?

2010-01-09T13:12:00.000-08:00

Have I ever made anyone cry like Marshall did on "How I Met Your Mother?" Not yet :-)

This is a question I have to ask a lot of potential clients. Every new member at our gym gets a free personal training session, and when setting up these appointments, I often ask, “Do you prefer a male or female trainer?” Now, a lot of people will say they don’t care either because they really don’t or because they’re afraid of offending me with their answer. But I often wonder, who do people really want training them? And what’s the reasoning?

Personally, I have only had male trainers. You would think feminist me would be all about having a female trainer, but I just wasn’t. Mostly because guys were the ones who approached me, but also because that’s what I asked for when it came time to actually buy training. It’s not that I don’t think a female trainer could kick my ass, because I know from my own training that this simply isn’t true. In fact, I’ve nearly made guys puke during my workouts before (so there!). But honestly, I think my choice stemmed from my own insecurities. The female trainers at the gym by my apartment all seemed so girly and just teeny. Thanks to being a sorostitute for three years, I was worried that they would all be sizing me up while we trained, as women often do with one another (catty bitches, right?). So I went with guy trainers because I didn’t care about being sweaty and gross in front of them. They can judge me all they want, but they can’t really compare my body to their own, so I don’t really care.

Other women feel the total opposite. My friend Kate said that she wanted a female trainer at first because of her insecurities. When she started with a male trainer, she said she always tried to “get dressed” to go to the gym, but then she learned it was more about the sweat and the hard work, and stopped caring what she looked like while she was working toward her goal. And I’ve talked to a lot of women who feel this way. They don’t mind dripping and panting in front of other women, but working out with a male trainer makes them nervous. I’ve also heard that women like working out with other women because they can relate. Duh, I didn’t even think of this one, even though most of my female clients talk to me about their lives every single day. I get it that stress does a number on you and your goals. I get it that we can’t drop five pounds as easily as the guys. I get it that sometimes you need a little chocolate and that there are certain days when you will be crankier than others. I get it.

With guys, the situation can be a little different. Boys are gross to begin with (if there are any male readers, feel free to defend yourselves in the comments section), so I doubt they worry too much about sweating a lot during their workouts. However, some men are a little iffy about sweating that much in front of cute girls who are telling them what to do. I’ve even heard from one or two male gym members that they’re worried that if a woman trainer is touching them (for instructional purposes, obvi) and ordering them around like a drill sergeant that they’ll “get turned on.” (I had no idea how to react to that comment.) Anyway, some guys choose male trainers because those are simply things they don’t want to fret over.

The issue of competence is something else entirely. I think, at times, both men and women think that female trainers won’t be as tough or can’t possibly know what they’re doing. I’m going to be biased for a second and tell you that, we do, in fact, know our stuff. We had to get certified just like the guy trainers, and we do just as much strength training as they do. Just because we can’t lift as much as some guys, this does not mean that we can’t put you through the workout of your life. [Girl Power rant over.] Some guys will say they want a guy because they don’t think a girl will be able to help them bulk up. Other male clients will say they wouldn’t mind a female trainer because they don’t mind if someone a little prettier watches them sweat, and they feel like they might even work a little hard to impress their trainers.

In the end, there’s no general answer across the board. I guess it all depends on personal preferences, and it might not even be gender-based, but actually just whether or not your personalities mesh.

What do YOU think? Would you rather hire a female or male trainer? Why? Does it matter to you, or you just need to make sure you have a trainer with whom you get along and who motivates you the right way? Spill!

January Joiners

2010-01-04T07:45:00.000-08:00

I know the tracksuit is dead giveaway, but give the guy some credit!

Around this time of year, a big topic of discussion at the gym is all of the newcomers who flood health clubs everywhere right around January 1. The resolutions kick in when the pants don't fit, so everyone who hasn't been to the gym in a while signs up for a shiny new membership package or dusts off the card that's been sitting in his or her wallet for the past 11 months. I know there are a lot of opinions on these "Resolutionaries," so let's discuss, shall we?

This morning I was training a client in the pool at 6:30am, a time when the gym is normally pretty dead besides the regulars. Well, not today. Even from the pool, I could tell the gym was packed. Very few, if any, cardio machines weren't in use, and the cable machines were taken over by guys in tank tops who just couldn't get enough of themselves in the mirrors. There were even a few more people swimming laps with me after I finished my early swim lesson. All of this new activity at the club got me thinking about how I feel about these January joiners.

In college, I dreaded coming back to my beloved gym after winter break. I just knew that all of the people who had pushed working out to the wayside the previous semester would charge in and take over every piece of equipment because the holidays had done them in. And because Michigan has a ridiculously early spring break, and my peers who had forgotten where the gym actually was would need to elliptical and bicep curl themselves into bathing suit shape by February 25th. Those of us who considered ourselves regulars were, of course, annoyed for this month and a half, because we not only knew where the gym was but -- gasp -- knew there were multiple gyms on campus. We pretty much just waited for the newbies to give up so we could get our precious treadmills and weight machines back.

But today, I was really thinking about it. I got kind of excited that so many people had chosen to get up at 5am to get their butts into the gym. And not just because that means more clients (although, I guess that doesn't hurt). I was happy that so many people wanted to improve their health and follow through with those resolutions. I'm not sure what changed since college (or even since last winter when I was pissed that the lines at my neighborhood gym were even longer), but I kind of feel bad, and more than a little selfish, for wishing my peers in college would just quit on their goals before January even came to a close. And now I'm even finding a bit of inspiration in these wide-eyed first timers. I may be a regular (OK, I work at the gym, so I kind of have to be), but that doesn't mean that I don't have new fitness goals. I want to strength train more, build my swimming endurance back up, and increase my running mileage to where it used to be. If they can brave the gym for the first time in ages, then I can push myself a little harder in the workouts that I'm already doing. Even this morning, when swimming a mile was the last thing I wanted to do, I saw all of those folks sweating it out before work, and I knew I had no excuse. Thanks to them, I stuck it out in the pool, so I'm hoping they stick it out for the year. I hope all of the resolutionaries become regulars.

So which camp are you? Still hating on those newbies? Or do you embrace the fresh faces and encourage them to keep up the good work? I know I'll be in the latter group this year, but tell me what you think!

New Year's Resolutions: A Do or a Don’t?

2009-12-31T09:11:00.000-08:00

Is time really passing? Dick Clark's face makes me wonder.

Yep, another New Years piece. Probably the 50th or maybe 500th you’ve read in the past week, but hey, I’ve always liked a theme.

First of all, I’ve always loved NYE, but I think it’s gotten too hyped up, and when there’s so much pressure on something to be great, it can really suck when it disappoints. Take last year for example: A group of friends and I decided to get tickets to the party at the Drake hotel (which cost $150 more than I wanted it to, by the way). Anyway, I had it in my head that it was going to be this elegant affair, and I was just SO excited. Well guess what? It was all drunk 25ish-year-olds stumbling around in their finest, and it was so not what I had imagined. I had four drinks over the course of about five hours, and I hardly remembered midnight because they were that strong. What I do recall pretty clearly is what a letdown it was and how I, for no apparent reason, ended the night upset and crying and being THAT girl. This year, my roommate and I are going to a keg party wearing jeans. I have no expectations, and that’s the way I like it.

So, similarly, I’m pretty torn on how I feel about New Years’ resolutions. Best thing ever? Or total bummer at midnight of next New Years? On the one hand, I like goals, and it’s really just another type of goal. But on the other hand, it’s kind of forcing you to change at a certain time just because everyone else is, not necessarily when you’re ready. And this makes resolutions hard for people to stick to it, because you can’t change until you really want to.

I know that I made a lot of resolutions last year that I didn’t completely keep. All these things about getting healthier and happier and whatever else, and honestly, I feel I was a bit too ambitious. I had like 10 goals for 2009! And I didn’t break them down into doable steps – they were kind of vague and, well, they sounded a little grand. This year, I’m taking an idea my friend Rachel has been using for a while now, and I’m making smaller goals each month that I will carry on throughout the year. They’ll tie into the objective of making 2010 my healthiest and happiest year yet, but they will be specific and attainable.

So, since I’m not making a New Years’ resolution per se, I’ll give you my January goals:

1) Get more sleep. I am TERRIBLE at this. I sleep on weekends and that’s pretty much it. I know how crucial sleep is to every other aspect of my health, so I have to make it a priority. I am going to get seven hours of sleep at least 5 nights per week. No exceptions.
2) Sit somewhere different on the bus. Yeah, I’m completely serious on this one. I feel like sometimes you just need to change your point of view, and I’m starting with my seat on public transit.
3) Strength train twice per week. Fitness is my job, and I haven’t been perfect with the resistance/strength aspect of my workouts in the past two months. Gotta practice what I preach!
4) Write and post at least once per week. Because I have been a slacker.

What about everyone else? Are you making resolutions? How do you feel about them? And what’s everyone doing tonight!?

Just Say No

2009-12-23T08:24:00.000-08:00

Ralphie should have just said no.

Ah, the holidays. The most wonderful time of the year, no? Well, in recent years with our winter festivities running on steroids and taking up every waking second, for some the answer to that question might really be a big fat NO. From Thanksgiving to January 1st, there’s plenty of time to go crazy with everything we try to do. I personally love the holidays, but even I can’t help feeling as though I’m being stretched a little thin around this time of year.

I’ve found that the only solution to this problem is something I’m sure you’ve heard over and over again: Learn how to say ‘no.’ Just one word, two little letters, but for some reason, it’s really, really hard for a lot of us – especially women – to say it, even when we truly want to. This idea should be put into practice all year round honestly, but we’ll take baby steps and start with the holidays. So here’s an idea: stop considering every other person on the planet’s feelings and start considering what you actually need to do to keep your sanity this winter.

If you’ve been invited to your eighth cookie-decorating party of the season hosted by your third cousin once removed, and you just totally need to go running instead or you’ll strangle the first kid who reaches across you for the vanilla frosting, then say no. If you’re asked to partake in yet another Secret Santa or Dirty Christmas exchange, and you are totally tapped out and buying even a tiny gift will make you and your wallet scream, just say no. If your coworkers ask you to go out for holiday happy hour (again), and you haven’t even been able to enjoy your Christmas tree or just sit and enjoy a cup of hot cocoa at home yet, then say no. No matter what anyone says, taking time out for you during the holidays is not selfish. It’s essential.

So here’s the challenge: In what’s left of your holiday season (hey, we all have New Year’s coming up), just say no to one thing you actually don’t want to do. Maybe you do want to hit up that cookie party – go ahead and bring your award-winning sugar cookies. But if you feel like you’d rather spend booze calories and bar time on a mug full of chocolate and marshmallows while taking in the A Christmas Story marathon (leg lamps, frozen tongues, and Red Ryder air rifles for 24 hours straight on TBS starting tomorrow!), then tell the office pals you’ll see them on Monday. The world will not stop turning if you miss one holiday gathering this year. I promise. So go, enjoy the holiday season, and report back on how good it felt to say no!

How to Not Get Hit On at the Gym

2009-12-07T20:38:00.000-08:00

A little while back, Rachel over at sheddingit.com posted a video about how to catch your gym crush's eye and seal the deal. Well as a personal trainer at the gym, I get hit on enough already, and sometimes would like to minimize that. I hear everything, even when I'm not looking so cute, so sometimes not getting male attention at the gym is just fine with me. Yes, I'll give you a free workout, but not that kind. No, I will not help you stretch, especially when you ask me like that.

SO, here are my (almost) surefire ways to keep the menfolk at bay if you're like me and sometimes just want to be left the hell alone during your workouts.

If you're on the gym floor:

The look: Start by wearing NO makeup. The darker the circles and duller the skin, the better. The hair should definitely be in a ponytail, and if you've gone a few days without washing, it's going to be even more advantageous to you. Next, pick out your rattiest, oldest, baggiest t-shirt. If you have huge b-ball shorts to go along with it, AWESOME. You're in business. Don't let any hint of your shape be seen. The more you look like a walking sack, the less positive attention you'll attract. Oh, and make sure nothing matches. If you want to go the other direction and dress like you're in an 80s jazzercise video, you can play up the crazy, out-of-touch thing. Just make sure you don't look like Jane Fonda circa 1985 in your getup, or you'll probably get hit on even more, especially by the older gentlemen at the gym who long for the days of neon and spandex gone by.

Behavior: First, make sure that iPod/mp3 player/Discman/Walkman (this goes nicely with the 80s aerobics look) is in plain sight. As a trainer who talks to randoms during their workouts all day long, I know it's a lot less intimidating to come up to someone who is sans music. If you don't think your little earbuds will be effective enough, go all out with the big recording studio headphones. You'll look unapproachable and slightly crazy. Perfect. Make sure you rock out to your music as hard as you can, without screwing up your workout, of course. You want to make the point that you are there to actually work out, so don't go overboard with the antics.

If you're lifting, go ahead and grunt a little to get your point across. Do NOT drop the weights though. You can keep people away without pissing them off. If you're doing cardio, do it hard. The easiest people to approach are the ones who are taking it easy on the ellipticals or walking on the treadmills, looking like they're out for a nice Sunday stroll. You shouldn't be doing either of these anyway if you're looking to get an effective workout, but let this serve as a reminder. Ladies, you have to SWEAT. Run or bike hard, and at no point should you smile. Go ahead, look mean. You have my permission.

Bonus Points: Don’t wear deodorant. Yeah. This tip is not for the faint of heart, and I don’t really recommend it, but I’ll give extra credit to whoever tries it as a last resort to get rid of unwanted attention. But again, a last resort. Like, VERY last.

In the pool:

This strategy is WAY easier, since this kind of workout comes with its own inherent buffers. First, you have the water. As soon as you go under, you are excused from communicating with anyone. Only the bold will jump in front of you while you're doing laps in order to start a conversation. And at that point, you have the right to not only look mean, but act mean as well. (I mean, who does that?) However, there are those that just don't get it, so if you're going to swim, again, swim hard. No leisurely laps for you. This way you look like you mean business (which you do, right?). Another built-in advantage to swimming is that almost no one looks cute while doing it. Speedos are not flattering by any means, swim caps make you look bald, and your goggles will inevitably leave red rings around your eyes. Plus, have you seen the faces swimmers make while breathing? Mean muggin' for sure.

So there you have it. Next time you just want to exercise in peace, try one of these tactics, and I can almost* guarantee a flirt-free workout.

*Exceptions do apply, as with the especially oblivious/persistent and those that have seen you looking totally normal and cute at the gym who may or may not be stalking you.

Early to Rise...

2009-11-23T07:42:00.000-08:00

So... I'm not sure I've mentioned this, but I am NOT a morning person. The only thing I think when I hear, "The early bird catches the worm," is What's so great about worms? I'll admit that once I get up, I can be really productive, and I'll start feeling a little self-righteous and say, "OK, FINE, it IS nice to be up and getting shiz done before everyone else." But for the most part, when life lets me sleep in a little, I'm pretty appreciative. (and The Great Fitness Experiment post here makes me feel just fine about that.) I'm a night person by nature, and I get really inspired, and my energy goes through the roof at about 8pm. I'll go to work for a 6am client and be dead the whole day, but when nighttime rolls around, my energy spikes back up, especially if you get me talking.

Anyway, this morning I was dragged out of bed at 5am by Beyonce's "Freakum Dress," because I had a 6:30am potential-client workout in the pool. The bus shook me awake a little (there is NO need to drive like that at 5:45, Miss #36 bus driver), but I was still barely trudging along when I got into work. Of course, said client didn't show up, and she was my ONLY client until 1pm, so at first I was a tad annoyed. BUT instead of sitting and pouting in my Speedo or trying to nap in the back room (bad idea when you work with all guys who attack and mess with you when you least expect), I decided to make the best of the situation.

I changed into my running clothes, but because I knew I wouldn't get an amazing long run in (like I said, I peak later in the day), I decided to just crank out a hard 20 minutes to wake me up. I plan on getting a good long swim in later, but MAN, that felt great. I did a quick, sweaty 2.5 miles, cleaned up, and got myself to Starbucks to do some writing -- all before 8:30am. I will admit, as I sit here sipping my coffee, and as everyone else is just starting their day by picking up lattes and venti Americanos to take to work, I am feeling a bit self-righteous. And I'm thinking that maybe every once in a while, I don't mind being the early bird. Even if I really don't like worms.

2009-11-22T12:41:00.000-08:00

So I realized I never really went into how I turned my entire career upside down and went into personal training. I don't even really know if I mentioned I was going to do it (might have mentioned it here). I just stopped posting and then I came back and was like, "Blah, blah, quit my job, yadda yadda, and at the gym... ." So here's the story...

I had been working with a trainer at my gym downtown, and I kept complaining about how tired I always was and how much I hated my job (my soul felt it was being sucked out by the industrial strength vacuums my company sold). Slowly that turned into me asking my trainer about his certifications and how everyone at the gym had gotten into training. Finally, he just said, "Why don't you just get certified?" and it just all became so clear. He suggested that I go through ISSA, which turned out to be genius, because it's accredited by the US Department of Education, meaning that my nice office job would pay for it since it counted as continuing education!

Anyway, I planned to get certified, save up a little more money, and then transition into the new job. Well, only problem was that I hated my job SO much that it was affecting the rest of my life. I was so apathetic that I had no motivation to do anything. Except study, that is. Because I knew that the sooner I could get certified, the sooner I could get OUT of a job I knew in my heart was all wrong for me. So I studied nonstop for two months -- on the train, after work, all weekend long. I was just finishing the program when I decided that the day had come to put in my two-weeks notice. So I did, and on my last day of work, I found out I had passed my exam and had become a certified personal trainer. Whew.

Then I took a month off to just enjoy a Chicago summer. I read, I wrote, I tanned (yeah, yeah, I KNOW), I slept. I loved it, but I was ready to get back to work because I was getting restless (my Dad has told me before that he always thought I had ADHD), and, oh right, I was running out of moo-lah. So I decided I needed to start applying to gyms, but I already knew where I wanted to work. I interviewed at a few places, but I had always intended to work at the gym where I had originally trained as a client. I walked in and asked for the fitness director, and as soon as he saw me, he said, "Well, look who it is!" He had me fill out and application and set up a practical interview on the spot. I knew I was going to like this job!

Fast forward to two months later, and I'm slowly building up a client base and loving this job so much more than anything I've ever done. The days are long, and right now the pay is crappy, but I have so much more energy, and I'm so much more positive than I've been in quite some time. It was a change to go from working in a sedate office environment with mostly females to a loud gym with almost all dudes who say plenty of things that the feminist in me says I should be reporting to HR. (Kidding. Sort of.) But I really love everything about it. Work doesn't always feel like work, and exercising and talking to people are part of my job description. And I adore my coworkers, because in this job, it's not weird to be friends with the people you see most of the day. OH, and did I mention I get to wear sweats and spandex and running shoes all day? Plus, believe it or not, I actually feel like I'm using my degree more than I did before. I've always wanted to use my English and Women's Studies majors to do something with women's health/fitness, focusing especially on body image. This job is like the perfect case study for that! And I get to help people get healthy and feel better about themselves. And liking my job this much has motivated me even more to work on the other half of my dream -- writing. So, as I mentioned before, everything in my life might not be perfect right now, but I feel like I'm finally on the right track.

Big or small, what's something you've changed in your life lately?

Bad Reception

2009-11-13T22:39:00.000-08:00

So... confession. Lately I haven't been perfectly tuned in to what my body needs or how I'm feeling. I've been so busy and so tired that I've been less than diligent about my health. My workouts have not been completely consistent and my eating hasn't been anywhere near what it should be. I know that keeping up a routine always improves the way I feel, but I've been slipping lately. My food hasn't been completely whole and healthy (packing enough healthy food for a 14-hour day at the gym is hard!), and I'm working on a teeny budget. And I haven't been doing what I need to do to keep my sanity. I haven't been writing and reading as much, so I've felt a little less creative (and a little dumber! I won't lie). Plus, my knees have been killing me for some reason, so the running mileage has decreased and the lower body strength training has been almost null. On a positive note, I have taken up swimming again in lieu of pounding the pavement (or the treadmill), and it's been a really good change of pace.

Anyway, I guess it's time to refresh and find the right station again so I can keep tuning into my health. I need to set a good example as a trainer, and most importantly, I just need to feel good!

First Day of Work!

2009-09-08T22:05:00.000-07:00

Hi! Can't make this a long one because I need to get to bed, but today was my first day working at the gym, and I loved it! It's going to be hard work, and it's SO different from what I'm used to (goodbyeeeee, corporate America), but once I get the hang of it, I know it'll be what I was searching for.

Anyway, quick tip from today: If you have a job that requires you to be on your feet allll day, work that core! Strengthening your back and abs will make standing for 10 hours at a time totally bearable. Which is something I need to do myself, since stretching my back when I got home at 9pm tonight almost made me cry.

The Pro in Procrastination

2009-09-06T09:08:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I put off working out for a little bit. Like, until 7pm. And the gym closes at 8.

So what's a girl to do when she needs to cram in a good workout in less than an hour? Crank up the intensity, baby! Which is exactly what I did.

Luckily, I can see the gym from my apartment window, so a) it's super close and b) I no longer have an excuse to skip it. Ever. Anyway, I was in by 7:10 and ready to go. I decided to do circuits with little to no rest in order to make it more difficult. Honestly, because it was so quick, I was worried that I hadn't worked hard enough, but this morning I woke up pretty sore! Mission accomplished. Overall this workout took me about 35 minutes, and I was able to hit every muscle group:

Bis, tris, chest

3x15 bicep curls, standing on Bosu ball (multitasking, work that core!)
3x15 pushups, pushing off of flat side of Bosu (working on stability again!)
3x15 triceps kickbacks

Legs

3x15 leg press machine (love this one because I can lift as much as some guys at the gym, ha!)
3x15 seated leg curls
3x10 (on both legs) lunges

Back (lats) and shoulders (delts)

3x15 bent-over rows
3x10 front raises
3x10 lateral raises

Core

2x25 situps on Bosu (can you tell I love this thing yet?)
2x25 Russian twists, holding dumbbell
(was going to throw a plank or two in there, but I was running out of time!)

After that I finished up with an easy 25-minute run outside (which was supposed to be speed work, but the previously stress-fractured shins were saying, 'not tonight, honey.'), and I was feeling pretty good. Plus I got some practice in for making up full-body workouts on the spot, which totally builds my confidence as a trainer. Anyway, the point is that sometimes we work better under pressure, even in exercise, and can get in just as good of a workout in one hour as we can in two!

Lots of New Things

2009-09-05T10:54:00.000-07:00

Hi! Another long hiatus, I know. Anyway, a LOT has happened since then!

1) I moved! We got a nice new apartment two blocks away from our old one (long hike, right?), and we actually moved a few loads using shopping carts because we're a little ghetto like that. Oh, and because we don't have cars. But anyway, it has huge windows, high ceilings, and best of all, we're on the third floor instead of the garden level (read:basement). It's a three bedroom, so we got a third roommate, one of my friends from grade school and UMich. She's a personal trainer, yoga/pilates instructor, and life coach. She's got so much energy and runs her own business, and I love it! Seriously inspiring.

2) I got a job as a personal trainer! Yesterday, I made it official by going down and signing all the paperwork! I've been ISSA certified for about two months now, but after I quit the corporate gig in July, I kind of just putzed around to figure out what I was going to do with my life. I finally went downtown to the gym I've worked out at, and said, 'hey, looking for trainers?' Lucky for me, they were! And lucky for me, I know half the trainers there so it shouldn't be toooo hard to transition. Either way though, this is going to be a totally different experience for me! And I am so excited!

3) I started a Twitter account (that's what you call it, right?). As soon as I told my friend Rach I had gotten the job, she gave me the assignment of starting one up. So I did! I am still super wary of it, because I don't know if I need everyone knowing my business (oh wait, I have a blog...but this is still fairly anonymous. At least it was until I link it to a Twitter feed). But for business purposes, maybe it's something I'll have to get over? For those of you that have it, what do you think of it?

OK, I'm off to get some coffee and cheer on our boys in maize and blue....HAIL!!

Balancing Act

2009-08-18T08:53:00.000-07:00

(real beer?! can it be?)

In the past few weeks, I feel like I've really learned the meaning of balance. I've been really working hard on getting back into a healthy routine since I left my job at the end of July to become a personal trainer/writer full time. I mean I had a few weeks to do nothing but work out and write and lay on the beach, right? Should have been easy, right? Unfortunately, that was not the case.

Somehow -- and I don't know how it happened -- I developed a social life. Guess that's what happens when you aren't working 40-plus hours a week and commuting 3 hours a day. Who knew? Well, anyway, a social life after 21 years of age often involves a decent amount of drinking, and that was definitely not part of my shape-up plan. Neither was an impromptu one-night trip to Michigan to live it up like a sorostitute again for one of my oldest friend's birthdays. Neither were dates with boys who do not understand why on earth you would order a light beer when it tastes like water (not that I think this, but to guys my Corona/Miller/[insert classy domestic beer] light is boring, and I'm trying to be more adventurous here!), and who think lettuce's only use is to add crunch to a burger. But the thing is, all of these things I hadn't planned on are actually pretty enjoyable, and I've been SO much happier lately. I have a life for the first time in what feels like ages, I'm meeting new people, and I'm loving summer in Chicago. And I'm learning that a few extra calories here and there don't have to completely throw me off.

Oh, right, and I'm relearning this whole flexibility thing, which for a semi Type-A personality like myself, can be a bit difficult to master at times. I'm kicking ass at the gym, and training for a half marathon with a friend long-distance (hi, Rach!). I've been lifting a ton again too, which I love because my body always looks better even if the pounds aren't flying off. And truth be told, I love lifting as much as possible and feeling like a total dude at the gym. Anyway, all of this has been a good lesson for me, and I've been handling it rather well. Was every day the epitome of balance? Was I perfect? Not by a long shot. But overall, the pattern has been pretty good. I eat well most days, and if someone calls and wants to go out, I can handle it without thinking that 2 drinks is going to completely derail me. Even if I get off track for a few days (uhhh, this weekend included two nights of staying out until 4am --who am I!?), I'm finding that I'm much better able to deal. And get back on track the next chance I get. I think I may be heading towards --dare I say it? --normal eating territory. And it feels pretty good.

This is totally me at the gym everyday. Juuuust kidding.

MIA

2009-07-11T22:18:00.001-07:00

Oops, month-long hiatus....

I've been busy, but I'll get back to it soon! Let's just say some big changes are under way. I recently cut the cord at work, so in less than two weeks I will be dunzo with corporate America. I'm going to do the writing thing full-time (a book?!), and in about a month (after I practice on myself and kick my butt into awesome shape) I'm going to apply to a bunch of gyms in the area as a personal trainer! I am so pumped it's not even funny. And things seem to really be falling into place for me....more details on that later.

On the health front, I found out why I am exhausted ALL THE TIME. Apparently I have crazy-low iron levels, so that means I started taking a supplement right away. Hopefully I'll see results soon, but until then, Mom (she's a nurse practitioner at a preventative medicine office) tells me I shouldn't be doing crazy intense workouts or anything, and she's surprised I haven't passed out. Wow. OK. Time to take my health even more seriously! If other things weren't motivation enough, this is kind of a big deal. I need to fix it before it turns into full-blown anemia. This means I'm going to try to even incorporate a little -- gulp -- red meat into my diet.

As far as fitness goes, I've been working on doing more resistance training (nothing crazy, obvi; see above), and making sure that hitting the weight room at least three times per week is the norm. I think I lost some muscle mass after moving here because I focused mostly on cardio. Losing the muscle mass probably is making it harder to lose, so I've gotta work on that. Well, now I'm doing a bit of both, and making gym time a priority. I know that I cannot sacrifice my health for financial reasons. For a while I was taking on extra freelance work (after looong days spent commuting and working), but the extra money did me no good, as it was costing me my health. Plus I was probably buying crap and processed shit that cost more anyway because I was always so tired. Anyway. I cannot wait until I have a few weeks off to focus on (not obsess over) my health and my writing after I leave my desk job.

Sigh. OK. I'm feeling good about life, and that was my explanation for dropping off the face of the blogging planet. Once I have a little more time, you can bet this baby will becoming more of a priority! I love health and fitness, and I love writing, so perfect combo right here. Until then though (9 working days!), posts will be sporadic so that I can focus on really tuning into what this girl's body really needs!

Together Again

2009-06-12T20:47:00.000-07:00

So listen guys, Running and I may have gotten back together. I know, I know. It was a short break. But I thought about it a lot. And we are going to take things slow this time. Not dive into it like last time and tell ourselves that 6 to 8 miles at a fast clip every single day is good for us.

Running and I have talked about it, and we're going to keep things casual for a while. I think I'm still going to do other activities, and we'll just spend a little time together every week. It will be kind of like when you break up with your boyfriend but miss him terribly because you know you can be so good together, so you decide that you guys will still talk sometimes and just meet up for coffee and maybe dinner, until you have it all figured out. Keep it friendly and without commitment, you know? (I need to stop comparing running to boyfriends and actually start dating, I think, because this is getting ridiculous.)

But instead of coffee (which I miss terribly right now because I am trying to give it up for a whole week!), we are doing short jogs a few times per week. Wednesday I did 20 minutes on the treadmill, and today I did 23. This weekend, if I'm really feeling it, I might take Running out for a spin by the lake. But an easy spin. I'm running when I feel like it and not forcing myself to do it when my shins are screaming or I'm drained after a long day at work. Because I believe that with Running, as with any other good relationship, my heart should actually be in it.

Loving Me For Me

2009-06-08T21:47:00.000-07:00

OK, so I was cranky today. And a little yesterday. Alright, fine, and the day before. So let's do a little exercise in positivity, shall we?

Quick -- name two things you love about your physical self (I'm feeling a little shallow today, too) right now. Not when you weigh ten pounds less or when you have a tan or when you have had time to get yourself all gussied up. Right this very instant.

I will start, because...well, I need to stop being so cranky.

A few things I LOVE about myself:

1) My eyebrows. Even when I'm wearing zero makeup, they still give me a little drama and make me look more expressive. I touch them up a little with the tweezers, but other than that I guess I've been given good brow genes. (Thanks, Mom!)
2) My eyes. No matter how much weight I gain or lose, or how much sun I've gotten, they are still a lovely shade of blue that changes depending on what I'm wearing. I've even been told they're 'mesmerizing.' (If you must know, I actually laughed really hard at this, embarrassing the boy who said it. Sometimes I don't handle compliments very well...)
3) Yeah, three, whatever, it's my blog. I really like the part of my ankle that slopes into my feet. It's strong but somewhat delicate at the same time (which is not representative of me at all, but I love it anyway), and I like the way my ankles and legs look in heels. Actually I kind of like my feet too, even though I have been told they're atrocious. Years of dancing, running, and swimming will do that to you I guess. Whatevs, they're lived in and strong, and that makes me like them even more.

OK, so I guess I actually listed four. I cheated.

What do you all love about your bod or your appearance right now? And since I broke the rules, you can too. Name as many things as you like!

I'm Full of Artificial Sweetener

2009-06-03T20:14:00.000-07:00

Ten points for whoever can name that song. (which really shouldn't be hard, especially if you know me)

So.

I've been doing a lot of thinking about this whole hormonal imbalance idea. I already know my hormones are a bit wacky, and I've been doing a lot of reading about fixing your hormones on your own by living clean --especially eating clean. So I've decided I should clean up my diet. Now it's not like I am a regular at McDonald's, but I know I eat some things that are so not good for me that it's not even funny. I want to get rid of the icky stuff to see if I can a) fix my crazy hormones and maybe even my moods (omg, winter in Chicago did NOT help) and b) drop some lbs that I have not been happy about carrying around for the past year.

And I know I should want to eat clean, simple, whole foods for the fact that it's good for me (and the environment!) alone. Buuuut, I'm a girl. And a girl that is used to being thin and fit, so the weight thing is going to be an issue that I will try to tackle as well. Because, you see, I have been trying to get back in shape. I really have. I've even gone down a size... but it took me MONTHS. I know my desk job isn't helping, but I spend a fair amount of time at the gym and spinach and I are practically BFFs these days. I should be losing at a slow, healthy pace, no? Well, no, I'm not. I'm hardly losing at all. I eat mindfully and make sure it's mostly healthy foods. I count the cals and up my protein. I'm a Bally regular and I walk everywhere that I can. I am awesome about it for weeks on end, eschewing drinking and increasing my cardio, doing all the right things. And I can feel little differences, I really can. But then I go to weigh myself or try on the pair of pants that was just a tiny bit too snug, and NOTHING. I think my face looks thinner and my pants are looser, but no, the scale has other ideas and laughs in my face. And then, in my self-pitying state, I will go buy something chocolate as soon as I leave the gym. A tad counterproductive -- I do realize this. And I know this is not a good habit! I don't know where it came from because it didn't happen until recently. But anyway. Another topic, another time.

Point is, my metabolism should NOT be this shot. I'm only 23 (24 in 2 weeks, eep!) so it might not be like when I was 16, but it should not be as slow as it is! I'm sure a little disordered eating in my past has not helped it, but whoa, it's like it's not running at all. Anyway, I've been reading a lot of Jillian Michaels' tidbits on hormonal imbalance (love her, want her arms and her tranny cut abs) and also Dr. Hyman's UltraMetabolism/UltraSimple Diet plans, and they all say our bodies are messed up from the fake crap we put into them.

Soooo... first on the agenda is cutting out the -- you guessed it -- artificial sweetener. In college, I was Queen Splenda and an expert on all things sugarfree. Even though most of those SF products gave me stomach pain and sent me to the bathroom (TMI, yeah sorry), I didn't care because I was skinny. Now, I think I'm finally paying for it. (Either that or Starbucks found out I was stealing Splenda and has decided to conspire against me, slipping full fat cream into my coffee instead of soy. Corporate coffee karma or something like that.) So, while I still may have other not-so-hot-for-me foods in my diet, I'm going to start with this one step and nix the chemically altered sugar subs. It's been almost a week and I'm still going strong...which is hard for me because I was chewing gum like it was my JOB when I was at my actual job. Just sipping on H2O at my desk all day is weird. It feels like something is missing, but I know this is a good thing! Next up, I'm going to cut out sugar for a bit (not fruit though, no way. this ALWAYS backfires on me) and then alcohol. But not this weekend, because come Saturday I plan on having the Corona that is calling my name from the fridge. After this hellish week, it's been practically yelling at me, in fact.

I'll leave you with a few of the scary foods I was eating before:

Splenda, one of the usual suspects. I was putting this on everything save dinner. Unless dinner was oatmeal, then all bets were off.

Not saying these are all bad, and that folks haven't succeeded on the SB Diet, but...to lower the carbs, they had to do a lot of playing around in a lab. I personally do not want to ingest someone's science experiment.

When I was a whiskey-swilling skinny bitch in college, Diet Coke and I used to have a lot of threesomes with Jack (Daniel). I was a wild woman, I tell ya.

Ah yes, my favorite of all the scary shit I've eaten. 50 grams of protein in one shake folks. I'm not sure what I was even going for here. But wait... it gets better....

This is what it looks like mixed up!! I'm pretty sure this color does not occur in nature, and if it does, you shouldn't eat it. This picture doesn't even do it justice either. And believe it or not, this tastes worse than it looks. I pretty much don't have a gag reflex -- nothing makes me ill -- and this almost made me vom right in the work cafeteria. It was 'strawberry' but tasted like salty PeptoBismol. Mmmm.

OK, so, just looking at that last picture reminded me of why I need to clean up my act. Where do you think you can stand to or where would you like to clean up your eating habits?

A Runner's Low

2009-06-01T20:55:00.000-07:00

Dear Running,

I don't know how to say this but... I think we need to take a break. I know what you're thinking, by 'break' I mean that it's over, right? No, no, no, please. Let me reassure you that this is not what I mean at all. Because I love you, I really do. Our history is a long and complicated one, but one with more happiness than sadness, and I am just not willing to give you up.

But we still need to take a break. You say you'll try harder because you want to make this work. I say we've been trying, and I'm getting more and more frustrated. You say you didn't realize how bad the problem was getting. And I say, how could you not? My runs have dwindled to maybe once a week, and I haven't had a good run outside since St. Patrick's Day. The thing is, we both saw this coming, and we were both just waiting for the other to say something. You, dragging my feet when I try to break into a trot. Me, resisting your allure when you call to me on beautiful spring days from the lakefront trail just two blocks from my apartment.

In fact, I have a confession to make. You've been so hard on me and my shins and my ego lately that, well, I've been driven into the arms of another. I know I've always been faithful to you, but I just needed some time away and the elliptical understood me! You know, I really don't like it much, and I don't really know how much it's doing for me, but it doesn't hurt me. Probably won't be too upset when I break things off and dash back to you, either. It's like that cute boy I had a thing with a few summers ago, who I didn't really have any interest in, but who didn't really give me any grief either. The elliptical may just sit there and look pretty and not contribute at ALL while I do my thing and mindlessly burn calories, but it doesn't cause me the pain that you have over the last few months.

And Running, sweetheart, the pain is not just physical. So my hormones went crazy and living through a winter in Chicago made my frame a little heavier. Is that any reason to slow my pace down by the amount that you did? Of course I can still run -- it's not like I'm carrying around an extra person or anything -- but did you have to make me feel like I had never been a runner ever before in my life? Did you have to take my 7:30 pace away from me, and hand me a 9-minute mile on a good day, even through months of work? You make me feel lazy and like there is something wrong with me. I know you don't mean to, but you hurt me psychologically and emotionally. Lately, I've caught you checking out other girls (and even guys!), and you've been sending signals that tell me you don't think I'm a 'runner' anymore.

So, again, we need to take a break. Like I said, I love you, but I think some time apart would do us both some good. You go wild on the bike path next to Lakeshore drive. Have a ball down by North Avenue Beach. And I will enjoy the company of my trusty ten speed (once the tires are blown back up) and of the pool and the weights at the gym. We'll go out and see other people (activities?), and we will eventually realize how much we miss one another. I'll still wear your shoes and think of you fondly, and you'll make someone else pick up their pace when a really great/horrible pop song comes on. You'll miss my dedication to you, and I'll miss how badass I feel after finishing a ten miler and how hot my legs look in a dress. Don't roll your eyes at me, you know my vanity is endearing.

Keep in touch, with all my heart, xoxo, etc, etc,

Heather

The Voice Within

2009-05-31T09:10:00.000-07:00

So, why am I on this sudden crusade to force myself (and hopefully convince other women) to listen to my (their) own body? Why am I all of a sudden realizing that I have been ignoring that voice for oh...the last 5 years? A culmination of things really.

First of all, my mom, the perpetual health nut and amazing nurse practitioner, has been on an even healthier kick since she started working at a new preventative medicine office. The doctors there are all about all-natural this and no-artificial that. Which I thought was cool from the get go, but never really gave it a second thought. However, mommy dearest has also been doing research and conducting presentations for the last few years on hormone therapy. While most of what she does is for menopausal women, she is well-versed in the study of other hormones and the effects they have on our bodies, too. She has worked with countless women who had no idea what was wrong other than the fact that they didn't feel 'right.' She has helped to correct imbalances and I admire her for her tireless dedication to improving the lives of others.

Personally, I've always had issues with my hormones, and recently I've decided that I really need to fix that. First of all, I was a very late bloomer, not hitting puberty until I was about 16. Some might think, 'oh cool, so you got to eat crap until you were 16 and not worry about it because your metabolism was probably that of a 12-year-old boy.' Well, yes and no. I was able to eat junk because I was essentially a prepubescent boy and also because I was crazy active, never doing less than two sports at a time. That was great -- until I hit DID hit puberty and didn't know how to handle the fact that my body didn't work the same way anymore. We had always been healthy eaters in my house, but I hadn't had to worry about portion control because I ate when I was hungry and stopped when full. Ah yes, intuitive eating, sound familiar? Well, senior year of high school, I merely filled out and finally looked sort of like a woman, so I wasn't too worried. But in college, I gained another 10 and decided that enough was enough and that I just wanted to feel good in my jeans again. So I did Weight Watchers online, which was great! I totally credit it with my successful loss and my learning that a serving of pasta was 1 cup and not the entire plate I had eaten to carbo-load for the state swim meets.

OK, so what's the problem with that? If that had been the end of my story, there would be no problem, but ... that's not the end. In fact, just now, there is no end. I suppose a little more background might be helpful here. After losing the weight and coming home very skinny after freshman year of college, I wanted to maintain that. After all, everyone else had gained the freshman 15 and I seemed to have lost it -- and then some. I did fine that summer, losing even a few more pounds (when I actually shouldn't have), and when I came back sophomore year, I came back ready to love college and make that year mine. It was at this point that I really stopped ignoring the signals my body was giving me.

I've always been an overachiever, and starting that year of college, I'm sure that peaked. Not only did I want to excel in school and in my activities, but I began focusing a little too much on food and exercise. To spare you the details, I didn't have a menstrual period for almost 3 years, at one point a few friends were concerned, and my cortisol levels were far too high. However, I ignored many of these signals -- that I was tired, that my body wasn't functioning normally, that some of my behaviors weren't the healthiest -- until senior year. I do credit some of my women's studies classes with helping me find a balance between unrealistic societal expectations and what I was actually capable of, but it was second semester senior year that really showed me how ragged I had run myself.

After finishing finals for my second-to-last semester of college, I had a breakdown of sorts and couldn't calm down, even when all of those stressors were removed. I called my sister sobbing hysterically, and when she asked what was wrong, I told her that I had just turned in my last paper and that I was done with the semester. She was worried after that, and the fact that she was concerned worried me. After talking to my mom, I went to our family physician at the time, and he diagnosed me with anxiety and depression. I thought he must be crazy at first because I had energy all the time and was almost always happy. I was social and successful and had everything going my way. But I also knew that I had been ignoring the fact that some days I felt terrible emotionally for no reason and that often, I wished I could sleep well into the afternoon. Still, it was a shock. But within three days of taking medication, my period came back and I haven't had a problem since. Clearly though, there had been a problem before. All I can think is that my cortisol levels were finally brought down and my body reacted quickly. While I didn't stay on the medication for very long (the fact that I was using artificial chemicals to fix imbalances in my brain freaked me OUT), and I know I still struggle with depression, I do credit those little pills with fixing at least one of my issues.

Fast forward to over two years later, and I'm still not completely sure how to listen to my body all of the time. Especially working full-time in an office setting, it's hard to listen to what you need sometimes. I have a deadline, so I can't be sick. I have to play office politics and be friendly, so I can't go off to lunch by myself today and write, even if it's what I really need to do. For the record, I am a very friendly person! But I think everyone can relate to needing a breather every now and then. I also think that women, more than anyone else, are expected to be social and talkative, and "on" all the time. On Friday, for example, I should have called sick because I felt sick to my stomach all morning. Instead though, I went in to work (an hour and a half commute) and tried to get some stuff done before admitting defeat and asking to go home. I should have listened to my body in the first place.

I do think I'm slowly getting better at it, but I think that is coming with practice and with understanding that what you need emotionally is also sometimes what you need physically. I plan on becoming a personal trainer because a) I know that this office job is not what I am meant to do and that it is not making me happy and b) I can feel physically that what I do is not good for my body and the way I personally work. Sitting at a desk all day (in the lower level with no sunlight) and hardly moving all day is not doing my body or my mind any favors. But because I (like many women), do not like giving up on things, it was hard to come to terms with the fact that working a 9to5 is not for me, even though it seems to suit all of my friends just fine. However, I do think that listening to my body, mind, and heart is going to get me a lot further -- in many respects.

How about you? Could you stand to listen to your body a bit more? Or are you pretty tuned in?